


Memories of an Angel

by samisawesam



Category: Angel Beats!
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Romance, Sappy as hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:07:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 33,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23679640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samisawesam/pseuds/samisawesam
Summary: When Yuzuru Otonashi arrives in the Afterlife, the only things he can remember are the silver hair and golden eyes of the woman he loves. A story about what could have been if Otonashi and Kanade knew each other before they died.
Relationships: Hinata Hideki/Yui, Nakamura Yuri/Naoi Ayato, Otonashi Yuzuru/Tachibana Kanade | Angel
Comments: 9
Kudos: 21





	1. Memories of Golden Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angel Beats was amazing and left a hole in my heart. I wrote this fic to fix it because I don't have an Otonashi to give me another one.
> 
> This premise has been stuck in my head since I finished the series, and I haven't read a single fic like it, so I decided to write my own.
> 
> Dedicated to the greatest editor in the world, my fiancé.

_What… what the hell happened…_

His body ached, his vision was blurry, and he felt like he got run over by a train. Struggling to sit up, he gave a pitiful groan and gave up, lying down onto the hard gravel.

_Where am I? How did I get here? I was just at… somewhere._

Well, that was helpful. He was at "somewhere," and now he's at "somewhere else." What a fantastic situation to be in for Mr.…

Mr.… Uh.

 _Crap_.

He couldn't remember a thing.

"You up yet?" asked a voice he's never heard before. Or perhaps he's heard it all his life. Maybe it's his mother? No, too young.

Gathering what little strength he had, the young man pushed himself up a little. There, right in front of him, was a gigantic gun held by a significantly smaller girl. Through his blurry vision, he could make out magenta. A lot of it. Was that her hair? Was magenta hair possible? Orange, maybe. Red, too. Magenta wasn't too far off. Perhaps it's dye? He should ask later. Maybe not. It might be rude. Who was she again?

"Who... who are you?" he asked Magenta-Hair.

"I'm Yuri. You're dead," she told him as if she was telling him she liked coffee. "Want to join the Afterlife Battlefront? We could always use a new member."

_Excuse me?_

"I'm sorry, but that's completely impossible," he said emphatically. He was just going to see his… sister? Girlfriend? Friend? No, definitely his girlfriend. Those were not feelings one has for a friend, and most certainly not a sister.

Yuri didn't even move. "That's not impossible," she told him. "All you have to say is, 'Sure, Yuri! I'd love to join the Afterlife Battlefront!' It's not that hard."

He rolled his eyes, but that just made his head spin more. "You know what I mean. This isn't a prank, is it? Because that's just stupid."

Finally taking her eyes off her target, Yuri turned her head to him and said, "Are you a moron? You're dead. I just told you so."

_Welp, I'm convinced. Some purple-haired chick who has a toy gun says I'm dead._

"So? Are you joining us?" she asked again. "I'll even give you the honor of giving us a new name if you want."

Otonashi ( _oh, so that's my name!_ ) was getting a bit frustrated. "All right, now you listen to me. I'm not joining some club for dead people unless you can prove I'm dead."

Silence. Then, "Proof?" she whispered, her voice carrying a deadly undertone. "You want proof." Finally losing focus of her target, Yuri turned and faced Otonashi. "See you in a few days. You better have a new name for us by then."

His last thought, right as the bullet entered his chest, was that the gun was most certainly not a toy.

* * *

_He loved days like this. The sun kissing his skin, the cherry blossoms gifting him with falling petals, the songbirds searching for their mate, the stream chattering away to the nearby bushes with a subdued gurgle, all on a mossy, well-tread stone bridge. Of course, those were nice and all, but the real reason he loved days like this was because of the person he spent it with._

_They stood in silence by the stream. Of course, they did. When you've known each other for over a decade and counting, words weren't always needed. Their stresses, their successes, their feelings; all were laid bare to each other through their mere presence._

_Well, perhaps that was romanticizing it a bit. All good silence must come to an end. "How are your classes?" she asked him._

" _Professor Moray is a pain," he mumbled. "I swear, she has it out for me."_

" _You told her that her information has been outdated for centuries," she pointed out. Blunt as always, but he loved that about her._

" _She said bacteria wasn't proven to exist. Bacteria!" he cried. She giggled into her hand, making him smile. It was a quiet, melodic sound that made his heart soar every time he heard it. She wasn't one to express herself much, so he prided himself knowing that her smile was just for him. "And what about you?"_

_She looked straight ahead, her smile fading as golden eyes grew cold. "I collapsed in the middle of my presentation."_

_Nothing was said. What could be said? It was unfair, and there's no use discussing it. That didn't make him feel any less useless. He wanted to fix this, to give her a normal life, but he was barely starting his third year of med school. What miracle surgery could he perform that seasoned doctors couldn't? So, he did what little he could. He gave her all his love, his heart, but it wasn't enough to fill the hole in hers._

" _I'm sorry," he said at last._

" _Why?" she questioned._

" _I know how hard you worked on that. So many sleepless nights coding, fixing every minuscule bug, I know how hard you worked." He really did, too. Some mornings he woke up and she'd still be at her desk, downing coffee just to keep her eyes open._

" _It's not your fault, Yuzuru," she softly told him. "You didn't do this to me."_

" _Yeah, but…"_

" _As long as you're here, I'll be okay. No matter the state of my heart, I'll be okay as long as I have yours. I love you."_

_Four years of dating and his girlfriend still made him blush. How could this stoic, non-expressive girl say something so damn sweet? Does she realize what she does to him? There was no way he could see that face, look into those eyes, and hear those words and say anything else except, "I love you too, Kanade."_

* * *

Otonashi was wet.

Well, his chest was wet. And smelled like iron. Patting his chest down, he realized there was some blood on his shirt. Well, no. Not some. A lot. He could probably fill a pool with it. Not a big pool, but one of those inflatable kiddie pools. Hating the sensation, he tore off the shirt and threw it to the ground with a sickening _squelch_.

"She shot me," he said flatly. Then, a moment later, "That brat shot me!"

_So why is there no pain?_

"What the f –"

"It's nice to see you're awake."

Otonashi spun around. Sitting beside his bed was a boy with blue hair. Does everyone here have weird hair? Perhaps it's a dead people thing? He was dead, that's for sure. There was no pain, no wound, but he was shot in the chest. Did that mean he had weird hair, too?

"Hey, you," Otonashi asked the blue-haired guy. "What color is my hair?"

Blue-Hair blinked. "Orange." Okay, that was expected. Maybe they all had normal hair colors and he just didn't remember? After all, while he knew of black, brown, and blonde hair, the only hair colors he could remember seeing were orange and silver.

Wait. Silver?

_Kanade._

"You're an odd one, aren't you?" asked Blue-Hair with a grin. "My name is Hinata. What's your name?"

Shaking his head to clear it, he responded, "Otonashi."

Hinata frowned. "That sounds awfully familiar."

"Maybe we went to the same school," dismissed Otonashi.

"Maybe," Hinata said doubtfully. He offered his hand to Otonashi to help him up. "Here," he said, "now that you're all better, let me take you to headquarters. We'd love to have you in the Battlefront."

"I don't know. I mean, your leader shot me." He was still pissed about that. What an introduction. Hi, I'm Otonashi. I'm Yuri, let me murder your face! Best friends forever, am I right?

Hinata snorted. "You basically asked her to. You told Yurippe to prove you were dead, and she did." This was true, he just wouldn't admit it out loud. "Now get a shirt on and follow me."

* * *

This was a school. The afterlife was a high school. An eternity of tests, bullies, and teenage drama. Yuri never said this was heaven. Perhaps it's Purgatory? Hell? Whatever. All he knew was that he looked like he was about 16 when his dreams (memories?) showed him to be about 20. For all he knew, he could be 30 and just not remember. Perhaps it's a Hell thing, where you need to spend millennia dealing with awkward hormones and crappy Biology teachers whose scientific knowledge ended at "The mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell." Thanks, Mr. Li, that's very useful information. God must be cruel to subject him to that for eternity.

"-keep our humanity." Oh, Hinata was talking. Whoops.

"I'm sorry, what was that? I missed all of it."

Hinata laughed. "Did you hit your head or something? Yuri did say you looked injured."

Otonashi smiled, feeling a bit more relaxed. "No, I was just trying to take in my situation. I already passed Calculus, and I don't want to take it again."

Hinata's eyes twinkled. "Oh, we don't go to class. We'd be obliterated."

"Pardon?"

"We, that is, the members of the Afterlife Battlefront, are in an endless struggle with Angel. She doesn't show any emotions, and she's exceptionally strong, practically invincible. Our only real advantage against her is that she's predictable, and her M.O. never changes. Angel wants to obliterate us, and we want to keep our humanity. If we went to classes and acted like normal students like Angel wants, we'd pass on, turning into a weed, or maybe a gnat. Any questions?"

_Yes._

How do you respond to something like that? Otonashi didn't know, so he stayed silent. Turning into a gnat didn't sound particularly exciting. Butterflies, maybe, but gnats were gross and annoying. He could understand why they'd want to stay human, and yet they had to fight an angel in order to do it. The will to fight, to conquer a nigh-invincible servant of God, that impressed him. The Battlefront sounded like a determined and strong-minded group of individuals. Maybe, just maybe, they'd be able to help him get his memories back. All he knew – aside from his own name – was a name, face, and some hazy dreams that lingered by the edges of his conscience. Otonashi wanted, no, _needed_ to find out more. He would remember everything about his Kanade or die trying. The irony of that statement did not escape him.

Turning his attention back to his surroundings, Otonashi found himself in front of the principal's office.

"There is no God, Buddha, or Angel," said Hinata. He smiled at Otonashi and uttered a quiet "Good luck."

The door opened, revealing a large office with at least two dozen individuals. Lounging at the far end, legs up on a giant desk, sat Yuri. She smirked and stood up.

"The newbie awakens," she called out, and the room fell silent. Around twenty pairs of eyes latched onto him, following his every move. "Welcome to the Anti-Angel Headquarters, where we wage war against God." She had a voice that made you stand at attention; Otonashi could tell that if the room was loud, she could quiet them all with a whisper. "We want you to keep your humanity. We don't want you turning into a miserable barnacle or an ant. What good is your soul if you can't keep your mind? That's why we want you here. You're a human, just like us. We want you to fight with the Afterlife Battlefront.

"If you stay, you become part of the team. Part of the family. You will fight in battles and complete missions, but you will never be alone. The entirety of the Battlefront will have your back. If you leave, Angel will obliterate you. You will be alone, with nobody but mindless drones for company. You will pass on into the unknown, leaving us behind. I think we all know what the better option is. So, it all comes down to one question."

Yuri was close now, like a drill sergeant in the face of a trainee. She whispered the next few words, but the whole room heard it loud and clear. "Can you stand against God?"

Looking around the room at all the expectant faces, Yuzuru took a deep breath and stared down the fearless leader of the Battlefront. She was serious now, but he could see the hope in her eyes. The need for him to stay yes, to stay true to his soul and fight against God. To say "no" to this cycle of reincarnation and become the person he's meant to be.

God took his memories of the woman he loved, and if his dreams were anything to go by, he'd be damned if he didn't fight tooth and nail to get them back.

Otonashi stared down Yuri like she was a challenge he had to overcome. "God won't stand a chance against us."

Yuri smiled, and the room relaxed. "In that case, welcome to the family. Your first mission begins tonight. I hope you're ready for the front lines, newbie."


	2. A Lack of Fighting Spirit

He should have known it was too good to be true.

Yuri's speech had gotten Otonashi excited and made him feel like he could belong. This brigade of strong-minded individuals could help him out, he was sure of it. He may have even made a friend in Hinata, and perhaps Yuri as well (even though she shot him). A warm feeling bubbled in his chest… then some dude with a halberd started to speak.

"Bastard! I'll kill you for not properly respecting Yurippe!" shouted the halberd-wielding maniac. "Die a hundred times!"

Nope, not doing this.

Stepping to the side, Otonashi watched the purple-haired guy – seriously, what's up with these hair colors? – charge right past him, through the door, and into the welcoming arms of a gigantic hammer that swung down from the ceiling. Should he have felt bad? Maybe. It's hard to feel bad for someone who charges you with a medieval weapon. If anything, he felt pity for the poor, sad man trying to defend his lady's honor. What did he do again? Not bow and sing her praises?

"Who's the White Knight," Otonashi asked the group at large, "and why is there a giant hammer?"

Yuri sighed, a hand covering her forehead. "That's Noda. He's a moron. That trap was built for Angel, but as usual, he was too stupid to avoid it."

"Ah," mumbled Otonashi. "So, who's everyone else?"

Some dude eating beef udon, a teen with a katana, a guy who pushed up his glasses every three seconds, a chick with a guitar, a freaking ninja, and a hippie. In other words…

"They're morons."

"Oh." He rubbed his neck awkwardly for a moment, then asked, "Is anyone here NOT a moron?"

"I'm not!" exclaimed Hinata and was promptly hit over the head by a short, pink-haired girl with a tail. A pointed, black devil's tail attached to a girl with fangs. There was a literal demon in the room. Otonashi's Hell Theory was becoming more and more appealing. "Ouch! What was that for, Yui?"

The demon, Yui, put him in a headlock and told him, "You're a moron, so accept it."

"I'll only accept it if you admit you're a moron too, you moron!"

"I'm not a moron, you're the moron!"

"This is so stupid."

"We're all morons."

"Kiss you~"

"SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!"

The Battlefront (excluding Hinata and Yui, who were still fighting) turned to Yuri, who stood there glaring at the lot of them. "How disrespectful of you all," she started, "to not even ask for the name of our new member." It was left unsaid that she didn't ask his name, either. "So, what's your name, newbie?"

"I'm Otonashi."

Someone in the back piped up. "Hey, I know that name! Were you a famous actor?"

"Uh…"

"Did you play soccer?

"Doubt it."

"Are you a moron?"

"Yes."

"What's your first name?"

"No clue."

A brown-haired guy (finally, normal hair!) said, "Oh, another amnesiac? Don't worry, your memories will come back soon enough. We've had plenty of you before." He waved his hands in front of his face frantically, saying "N-not that you're not one of a kind, I just mean your condition isn't rare over here and-"

"Oyama, shut your face."

"Just go with the flow, dude~"

"You're all morons."

"This is so stupid."

Ten minutes ago, Otonashi thought this group was a set of determined, strong-minded individuals who could help him get his memories back. Now he was questioning their competency.

But…

Looking around, he couldn't help but smile. This big, dorky, wonderful group of misfits could be his family. Despite their bickering, their bond was obvious. He couldn't wait to get to know them. He'd have to trust that they could help him.

"By the way, did you figure out a new name for us?" asked Yuri.

"The Moron Brigade."

"That's stupid. Shut up."

"Say, Yuri," asked Otonashi, bringing them back on track, "How do you help people get their memories back?"

"Well," she mused, "Normally they just come back on their own in a few days. After all, it's not like bodily wounds last long. However," at this, her gaze pierced into him, like she was trying to pull the answers out of his soul before she could even ask the question, "It depends on if you have any memories. The process is different. So, tell us…

"Do you remember anything?" When he didn't respond, Yuri pressed on. "A family member, a place, an event, a significant other, anything."

"I do remember something," he admitted.

"That's great!" Yuri beamed. "Now, all we need to do is find more stuff related to your memory, and the rest should follow." He nodded. That made sense. "What is it you remember?"

Could he really tell them? Kanade was all he had. Those memories felt too personal, too intimate to share with people he just met. He settled on a curt, "That's private."

Yuri frowned. Clearly, that was the wrong answer. "Otonashi," she coaxed. "We're a family here. We just want to help you. You just have to let us in."

"She's right," Hinata piped up. "You may be new, but you're important to us. You don't need to give us every detail, just the basics."

"Yeah, it's okay!"

"Don't be a moron, tell us!"

"Let the groove guide you~"

"This is so stupid."

"All right, all right," Otonashi said, his hands in a pacifying gesture. These people sure were pushy. "I remember a girl."

"Ooh, a girlfriend?"

"Was she pretty?"

"Hear that? Otonashi's got a girlfriend."

"Idiot, he was talking, so shut up and listen."

"Don't talk to an upperclassman like that, Yui."

"I can if he's an idiot."

"Kiss you~"

"This is so stupid."

"SHUT UP, YOU BLUBBERING BABOONS!"

Leave it to Yuri to shut up an entire room of dunderheads.

"We can continue this tomorrow," she said in a much calmer voice, "as it seems we're running short on time." She grinned, a truly wicked thing that struck terror into the hearts of men and women everywhere. "Right now, we have a mission to plan. Let Operation: Tornado commence."

"So, our mission is to play a song, have people buy meal tickets, make them lose their meal tickets, have Angel tell us 'that's mean, please don't do that, we like our food,' and then laugh because you pissed off God."

"That's correct."

"That is the stupidest plan I've ever heard."

"HEY!" yelled a voice from behind him. There, standing in the doorway, was the halberd-wielding dude from before. Noda, was it? "What did I tell you about not respecting Yurippe?"

Oh, please. What could this idiot do to him?

The sudden separation of his head from his shoulder seemed to be a very thorough answer.

* * *

_Third grade wasn't so different from the second. Then again, second grade wasn't so different than first grade, but third grade didn't feel like first grade. How did that work? The math was harder, sure, and the books were longer, but the learning structure was the same. So, what was different?_

_"What's wrong with you? Why won't you smile?"_

_"Did you get hit in the head or something?"_

_"Maybe she's just stupid."_

_"Yeah! She must be a freak!"_

_"Come on, freak! Why won't you smile?"_

_Ah, that's right. The kids were meaner._

_A circle of students surrounded someone, jeering and laughing. Otonashi didn't know what was going on, but he didn't like it one bit. Walking towards the group, he couldn't help but notice how much bigger these guys were. He faltered in his step but pushed on. What would Hatsune say if he ignored it when someone was in need?_

_'Hatsune is gone,' a particularly annoying voice niggled at the back of his mind._

_'She would want me to step in," he shot back, and he knew he was right. She was only four when she stood, proud as ever, and told off a doctor who said there was no hope for survival. Barely three feet tall, and she looked twice the size. That image would always give him the strength to help those in need._

_Finally reaching the circle, he forced his way through and saw a girl his age, shorter than him, with silver hair and the most striking golden eyes. Maybe these dumb bullies couldn't see it, but Otonashi could. Those big eyes, while non-expressive to others, told entire stories to Otonashi. She was lonely. She was sad. She just wanted a friend. Most importantly, she had no idea how to express it._

_"Hey, knock it off!" he yelled. "She's not doing anything wrong, so just leave her alone."_

_A boy a couple of years his senior pushed him to the ground, and Otonashi hissed in pain. "Why are you defending her? She's a freak."_

_"She's not a freak! You're just a big, mean bully. Go pick on someone your own size!" Let's just say that didn't end well for Otonashi. At least their focus was no longer on the girl._

_A few minutes later, the group apparently lost interest in Otonashi and went to find some other kid to pick on. The girl with the golden eyes sat down next to him in silence. That was fine. Otonashi was grateful for the company. Maybe this girl could be his friend?_

_No. That wouldn't happen. He hadn't had any friends since Hatsune._

_But maybe… just maybe… he could change that. It's what she would have wanted._

_"Why?"_

_He turned towards the voice. It was a wispy, almost melodic sound. It reminded him of an angel. "Why what?" he asked in confusion._

_"Why did you help me?"_

_Otonashi looked at the girl, confused at the question. "Why wouldn't I?"_

_From that day forth, Yuzuru Otonashi and Kanade Tachibana were inseparable._

* * *

Otonashi didn't like dying.

Technically, he had only died twice, three times if you count him getting here, and two of those weren't exactly deaths because you can't die, but he still didn't like it. His head hurt, his clothes were bloody, and he was probably stuck in a hospital. It felt wrong being in the bed and not to the side of it. Was he a nurse or something? Maybe a doctor?

I was a med student.

Huh. That was neat. That meant he was on the way to helping people, and probably already did. He thought that would lead to a fulfilling life. So, why was he here? Was it because he couldn't remember helping anyone? Or was there something else he regretted?

Ugh, I don't want to think about this.

"This is so stupid."

Cracking an eye open, he saw Ninja Girl sitting at his side. "I can't imagine you're here because you want to be."

"This is less stupid." Huh. He might have just been complimented.

"How long was I out for?" asked Otonashi.

"A week."

"A week?" he half-yelled. Quieting down to avoid embarrassing himself, he asked, "How is that possible? Last time I died I was only out for a few hours."

Ninja Girl twitched an eyebrow to tell him that this was so stupid. "It takes less time to heal from a gunshot wound than it does to regrow the brain." That made sense. Kind of. Maybe in a twisted, gruesome way.

"Yurippe, he's awake!" That sounded like Hinata. Sitting up to take a better look at the door, he saw Hinata, Yuri, and Yui standing in the doorway. "That's two for two. You'll probably suck at missions."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," deadpanned Otonashi. "So, how was Operation: Tornado?" For some reason, Hinata began to look distinctly uncomfortable.

"Well, you see, uh, it went, that is to say, it occurred that –"

"You're useless," said Otonashi.

"See? Even Otonashi knows, and he's been dead longer than alive!"

"Quiet, Yui."

"Don't tell me to be quiet! I can do whatever I want." Apparently, she couldn't because it was tough for her to get out for the resulting headlock.

"That's enough you two," snarled Yuri. That girl was scary. "Otonashi, something happened, and it involves you."

He frowned. "How could it involve me? I've been here because that idiot got all axe-happy and tried to defend his lady's honor from some non-existent slight."

Yuri glared at him. "I told you, his name is Noda, and he's an idiot. He can't help it." Her glare wearing away into a frown, she got back on topic. "Angel is acting strange."

"Strange?" asked Otonashi. "Hinata told me she doesn't have emotions, and that she's predictable." They spoke of her like she was some sociopath trying to end their existence, but was that really it?

"Come on, freak! Why won't you smile?"

People judged Kanade because she couldn't communicate like normal people. What if Angel was the same?

"Even if she's acting strange, what does that have to do with me? I've been in here the whole time."

"Will you shut up and let me talk? It's because someone mentioned your name."

"Well, that sure answers my questions," he snarked. "A divine being I've never met before acting slightly differently because she heard my name."

"Not slightly," said Yuri. "She stopped fighting. She just stood there, told us to go back to our dorms, and slowly walked away." She looked thoughtful. "She has never expressed any interest in anything but stopping our actions, but then someone yelled at Noda for killing you, leaving us a man down. She just… stopped. This fixation worries us. We think she wants to obliterate you personally, so we've had your room guarded." Nodding towards Ninja Girl, she continued, "You've got one of the best. Be honored we gave you Shiina instead of Yui."

"Hey, I'm a great fighter! Pow! Pow! Just look at these punches!"

"You can't fight for shit, moron."

"This is so stupid."

Ignoring their byplay, Otonashi kept looking at Yuri. "What makes you think she'll go after me? It sounds like she just lost interest in fighting."

Yuri snorted. "I've gotten good at predicting Angel's movements over the decades," she explained, "and I was proved right."

"Oh? How so?

"She keeps trying to break into this room."

Fuck.


	3. Bait

_You have GOT to be kidding me._

Okay, yeah, MAYBE the Battlefront's view on Angel reminded him of Kanade's bullies, and MAYBE he wanted to talk to her and learn her side of the story, but that didn't mean he was ready to go face-to-face with a divine entity hell-bent on obliterating his soul.

"Is she here?" he asked nervously, glancing towards the door like she was right there, hiding just outside of view.

"Calm down," scolded Yuri. "She's probably off sleeping at the dorms right now," Angels sleep? Just like humans? Huh. Why was there an angel in Hell, anyway? Then again, Lucifer was an angel or something like that. "But it's the strangest thing."

"Yeah," Yui chimed in. Apparently, she had escaped Hinata's chokehold. "Angel skipped class to try to get to you."

"Hold on," said Otonashi, "I was under the impression that she's on some mission from God to get everyone to go to classes, and she doesn't stray from that."

"She is," said Hinata.

"Then it shouldn't be possible for her to skip it, under any circumstances."

"Well…"  
"Yuri, is that true?"  
"He is not stupid."

"Shut up," snapped Yuri. "I agree there's something strange about the whole situation, and perhaps she has more will of her own than we thought. However," the grin slowly forming on her face was downright terrifying, "we can use this to our advantage."

"What do you mean?" asked Otonashi.

"We're going to capture Angel."

Dead silence.

"You can't be serious," said Hinata. "What you're saying is impossible."

"Nothing is impossible for the Afterlife Battlefront," said Yuri, still with that evil grin. "After all," she turned her attention to Otonashi, "We have a new asset."

"R-really?" he stuttered. Yuri kind of scared him "how am I an asset? I've died twice, and I haven't even joined a mission."

"You don't have to do anything," she said, "because Angel will come right to us."

"We already decided she's no longer predictable," countered Otonashi, "so you can't be so certain she'll come."

"Actually, I can," said Yuri, with a tone that brooked no argument. "Commence Operation: Bait."

It's official. This is Hell, and Yuri is my personal demon.

"Welcome to the briefing for Operation: Bait."

_Please help me._

"As we all know, Angel freaked out when she heard Otonashi's name. We're going to use him as bait to draw her out. Otonashi will distract her, and we'll incapacitate her by shooting her kneecaps, allowing us to capture her."

To be fair, it wasn't a bad plan, even though he could be risking his soul. Although he'd never admit it out loud, he had his own motivations for going along with it. He liked the Battlefront, he really did, but something felt wrong. Maybe it's because of those memories from third grade, but he couldn't help but feel that there was some big misunderstanding. If he could just talk to her…

"Diversion team, are you ready?" Yuri interrupted his thoughts.

"You bet we are," said a girl with shoulder-length pink hair (Iwasawa, if he remembered correctly), and the three standing beside her cheered. What was a diversion team for, anyway? Was it to prevent Noda from practicing seppuku on him? He voiced his thoughts and Yuri laughed.

"Nah, Noda's just a moron. Our diversion team distracts the NPCs."

"I'm sorry, the what?" asked Otonashi, unsure if he'd heard her correctly.

"The NPCs. It's what we call them. Surely, you've seen them around. They look human and act enough like them, but they're not like us. They don't have a soul, and eventually, all their actions will repeat." She shrugged. "Our diversion team, Girls Dead Monster (GirlDeMo for short), is their favorite. They flock to their concerts like sheep, keeping them out of the way so they don't get hurt."

Got it. Soulless, mindless husks that blindly follow a siren's call.

Pulling up a map on the projector, she pointed out many labeled dots. "Fujimaki, you're by the bridge."

"Got it."

"TK, keep a lookout on the roof. Wait, where'd TK go? Dammit, he's missing again." The dancer guy who seemed perpetually stuck in the 70s disappeared. Seemed like it was a common occurrence if everyone else's reactions were anything to go by. He was probably just dancing in an empty classroom somewhere. "Yui, we'll need you to cover for TK. Try not to shoot yourself in the foot."

"But I wanted to watch the concert! No fair…"

"Shiina, you're in the shadows."

"This is so stupid."

"Noda, trail 300 paces behind the bait. Please don't kill him again."

"I have a name, you know," whined Otonashi as Noda gripped his halberd a bit tighter. He seemed just a bit too excited to be in a prime stabbing position.

"Not until this operation is over, you don't. The rest of you are with Yusa in the amphitheater. If Angel comes, get her attention and lead her to the bait."

"As for you," Yuri zeroed in on Otonashi, "you're by the stairs near the twin waterfalls. Hinata will shadow you. Don't worry," she said with a smile, "you'll be fine. Maybe you could get some information out of her before we take her down."

_That's exactly what I was planning on doing._

"Don't worry, Otonashi," Hinata was saying, "We got your back. As soon as her attention is on you, we'll all swoop in. You'll be fine."

Otonashi studied Hinata out of the corner of his eye. He liked Hinata well enough, and he knew they were part of the same "family," but could he trust him? The man's eyes were honest, and there was nothing to lose, right? Well, the Battlefront could view him as a traitor, and could feed him to Noda, saying he called Yuri fat or something. That wouldn't be nice, but it would be okay in the end. He'd have an eternity to prove it was an honest mistake.

But if he was right, then there was someone out there who was lonely and hurt. Someone who just didn't know how to explain their actions, and who was being mercilessly bullied. Silver hair and golden eyes flashed in his mind's eye and he steeled himself. It was worth a shot.

"Hey, Hinata," said Otonashi.

"Hm?"

"This may sound crazy, but, uh," oh, what was he saying? All he's ever heard was that Angel wants to take his soul and wipe it from existence, or maybe turn him into a water flea. Still, that nagging feeling would not go away. "What if there's more to Angel than you guys think?"

"What?" asked Hinata, flabbergasted.

"Think about it," Otonashi pressed. "We already established back in the infirmary that she acts outside of the realm of a mindless servant of God. Also..." He paused. "...the way you speak of her reminds me of someone very important to me, and how she was viewed by others. I want to talk to her, find out more."

Hinata looked at him strangely for a long moment. "All right," he said at length, "I trust you. I'll hold off on shooting her until I see her attacking you." He frowned. "What about Noda and the rest? Those trigger-happy fools won't hesitate to incapacitate Angel."

Otonashi grimaced. "They're a little way behind us, right? That should give her enough time to answer my questions. Besides," he grinned, "GirlDeMo is rocking up a storm right now. Maybe the diversion team works on humans, too."

Hinata laughed. "Morons, the whole lot of them," he chuckled out, "Sometimes I wonder just how different they are from NPCs. Actually," he stopped speaking abruptly and Otonashi asked what was wrong. "Nothing," said Hinata with a shake of his head. "This whole conversation just had me thinking, that's all."

They walked a little longer in companionable silence. Otonashi wished he knew Hinata in life. They would have been good friends.

"We're here." Huh, so they were. "I'll go hide. It shouldn't be long until Angel is here. After all," Hinata cracked a smile, "GirlDeMo is already playing Alchemy. There's no better way to pump up a crowd. Don't die, all right?" And just like that, he was gone, leaving Otonashi to his thoughts.

It was a beautiful night, all things considered. For Hell, it sure had a lot of constellations. Otonashi recognized Ursa Major, Orion's Belt, and that's about it. Space was never his strong suit. He was always great with Biology, and a bit of Chemistry, but Physics and Computer Science were Kanade's strong suits.

He wondered how she was doing. Was she okay? Did she move on from him? He wasn't sure how time worked here (considering he de-aged a few years) so it could have been minutes, days, weeks, even years. Wherever she was, he just hoped she was happy.

Of course, he knew that, realistically, she didn't have long. The hole in her heart was too big for her to survive past her mid to late 20s. It hurt knowing their time was limited, sure, but he knew that for years, and she did, too. That's why they made every day count. That's why, as soon as he got back, he was going to… going to what? Back from where? Was he on vacation before he died? Well, wasn't this just great? Amnesia really sucks. He felt it was important, too. Whatever it was, he's glad she wasn't here. Kanade was supposed to enjoy life, to change the world. That girl was a genius programmer, no matter how much she would deny it. Otonashi knew she would go far.

Suddenly, there were footsteps from somewhere in front of him. Light and quiet as if the person making them couldn't be more than five feet tall, if that. Definitely not Angel. Angels were these giant creatures with wings that flew around passing judgment. They weren't-

_No way. No freaking way. It's not supposed to be like this. She can't be here._

Less than ten feet away from him was the very woman that he was thinking about, the one who had yet to leave his thoughts since arriving in this place, and long before that.

"Kanade," he breathed.

Most people couldn't see it, but years spent with her let him see what others couldn't. The slight parting of her lips, the slight sheen over her eyes, the way her shoulders tensed. She remembered him too, and she had no idea how to feel about him being here. Eventually, it seemed like they both came to the same conclusion as their feelings became in sync.

"You're here." That smile. He missed it so, so much. More words could be said later. Right now, all he cared about was that her arms were around him and his around her. Absolutely nothing could ruin this moment.

"Angel! You bastard! I'll kill you for hurting Yurippe!" Ah, so that's why the Battlefront's attitude was so familiar. They thought Kanade was Angel, and she just couldn't explain herself. Wait, that voice…

 _Fuck_.

He turned them both so that his back was facing the voice as a gunshot rang across the courtyard. The last thing he saw before succumbing to darkness was Kanade's terrified eyes.

* * *

_Otonashi was on a date._

_Not a hangout. Not a study group. Not a lunch break. An actual date. With Kanade._

_There was no way this was happening_

_Not that he was objecting, of course. He'd only been dreaming about this for years, no big deal. It's just that normally the guy asks the girl, right? The girl isn't supposed to look at him and ask him to take her out on a date, yet that was exactly what Kanade did. Otonashi had these grand plans of spending the day with her, ask her out, and confess his feelings under a starry sky. Nope, fate hates him. His crush just HAD to say, "Yuzuru, let's go on a date." No fear of rejection, of course. For all her issues expressing her own emotions, she sure as hell could tell his feelings with ease. You know, like the fact that he was crazy about her._

_So, here they were in a flower field. Kanade loved gardening and felt at peace among the endless rows of sunflowers. Or, rather, that's what he would say if they weren't currently holed up in the back near the wild vegetation. Why he had to fall for a girl who loved radishes instead of roses, he would never know._

_A light gasp caught his attention. Falling to her knees, Kanade stared at a tiny little turnip sapling, mumbling about how wonderful and cute it was. Kneeling beside her, Otonashi asked, "What's so special about that one?" With Kanade, there was always a reason. This one was proud. That one was strong. The one with a bite mark and a chunk torn out of it was a survivor._

_"It reminds me of you." Well, he wasn't expecting that answer._

_"Oh, how so?"_

_"It's cute."_

_Sure, Kanade often managed to fluster him, but he didn't think that being compared to a turnip would be one of those times. "I-isn't the word supposed to be handsome, not cute?"_

_"Maybe," she mumbled. "but this one is cute. Its name is Yuzuru." Taking it and the surrounding soil in her hands, she placed the sapling in her jacket pocket and started to walk away._

_"H-hey, wait up!" he called and jogged to catch up to her._

_"Are you taking me to dinner?" she asked._

_"Of course, I am," he responded. "What kind of date would this be if I didn't take you out to eat some mapo tofu?"_

_The resulting smile almost melted his heart._

_Two dishes of mapo tofu and around thirty glasses of water later, the couple headed back home. Night fell early in winter, yet the sky was as clear as a summer day. He craned his neck back to find his favorite constellations: Ursa Major and Orion's Belt._

_They stopped at a park not too far from Kanade's house. "We used to play here all the time," whispered Kanade._

_"Yeah," breathed Otonashi. "I don't know how I would have made it without you." It was true. Some days, he just needed to get out of the house. If it wasn't memories of Hatsune, it was his parents' coldness. His house was empty of emotion. Kanade was his rock, his best friend._

_"Really? In truth, I always saw it the other way around." That surprised him. Otonashi was always relying on Kanade for emotional support. "You've always been there for me, always protected me. You protect me with your heart while mine fatigues me. Not to mention how you deal with bullies." She smiled, albeit a bit reproachfully. "Then there was what you did to Saito."_

_Otonashi bristled. "He was going to hurt you," he said at length._

_"And that's what I mean. You've always protected me, even if it puts yourself at risk." Frowning, she admonished him. "When are you going to see that you matter, too?"_

_He didn't answer. He never did. It was a moot point, anyway. He could handle himself, but he couldn't bear it if something happened to Kanade. "Kanade…"_

_"I'll prove it to you," she said resolutely, her golden eyes alight with flames. "One day, I will prove to you without a shadow of a doubt that you matter. I will prove that you need protection, too. I will prove that I will always be there for you, in this life and the next. I will- mmph!"_

_Seconds, minutes, or millennia later, who cared? All he knew was that, after he kissed her, they finally confessed their feelings under a starry sky._

_On that day, Yuzuru and Kanade made a promise to each other._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the anime, they parted at the twin waterfalls. In this fic, they reunited.
> 
> Kanade's mini-speech was somewhat inspired by my own proposal, so it means a lot to me.


	4. Angel No More

You know, perhaps this place wasn't so bad. Sure, Yuri was his personal devil, Yui might actually be a demon, and he was consistently in a hospital bed, but this situation couldn't happen in a place of eternal punishment. A head of silver hair rested on the side of his bed. Kanade must have carried him here. Was she really that strong? Then again, she's apparently some Angel of Death who can destroy a battalion with godly powers. Whatever the case, Otonashi didn't care. She was still Kanade. He raised his arm to stroke her hair, just like he used to. No matter where they were, if she was here, he could be happy.

"So."

_Fuck._

"Explain yourself, now," demanded Yuri.

"Actually, I think I deserve an explanation," countered Otonashi. "THIS is the Angel you've been attacking and antagonizing for God-knows-how-long?"

"Of course, she is!" yelled Yuri. "Do you know how many of our members she's decimated?"

"And who attacked first?"

"Us."

"So, what if it was self-defense?"

"She's a servant of God! She has these freakish powers –"

"Don't. Just don't." Otonashi took a deep breath to calm himself. He never liked it when someone used that word to describe Kanade. "She's not an angel or some servant of God. This is Kanade Tachibana, the girl who adores mapo tofu, names turnips because she thinks they're cute, and who has been my best friend since we were eight-years-old," staring Yuri directly in the eye, he finished with, "and she's my girlfriend."

Well, apparently, that was a way to shut the unflappable fearless leader up. Just how long has she had these views of Kanade? It had to have been years if it affected her so much. It's just… that shouldn't be possible. Kanade was alive when he died, right? Otonashi didn't remember his death, but just knew that Kanade didn't die with him, So, how was she here before him? Does time just not exist in the afterlife? No, that couldn't be. Shiina said he was out for a week, and classes were on a schedule. That indicates the passing of time. Maybe it moved in reverse? He'd have to ask Kanade. She always was better at the whole space and time stuff.

"You said it yourself. We're a family, Yuri. I would never do anything to hurt or betray you."

"I'd say consorting with the enemy counts as a betrayal."

"She's not the enemy. She's harmless."

"She wants to obliterate us!"

"Did you ever ask her if that's the case?"

"Of course, we did! She never gave us a straight answer. Just some crap about fulfilling the cycle."

Otonashi sighed, "That's Kanade for you. Did you ever consider that maybe she just doesn't communicate the same way you do?"

"What do you mean?" asked Yuri. At least she was listening.

"Some people don't know how to say what's on their mind," said Otonashi. "When she said fulfilling the cycle, she probably meant getting over your past regrets and reincarnating to your next life."

Yuri opened her mouth, probably to retort, but a new voice spoke up. "Yuzuru is right."

"Kanade, you're awake!"

Suppressing a yawn and opening bleary eyes, Kanade spoke from her spot near Otonashi's bed. "It's good to see you again. It's been too long."

"Far too long," said Otonashi with a sad smile. "So, just to make sure everyone here understands, you just want people to find fulfillment and help their soul find peace, correct?"

"Correct."

Welp, that settles it. Kanade was good, and now they could all be friends.

Turns out he was only half right.

"Some people's regrets are too large to just get over," said Yuri. "Tachibana, I'm sorry for fighting you for all these years. I hope you can forgive me, but I need you to stop what you are doing." It wasn't really an apology if you had the word "but" in there, now was it?

"Why?" asked Kanade, expressionlessly.

"You can't force us to move on. I refuse to become a moth, or a water flea, or whatever cruel fate God decides to give me. I will not give up my individuality. We will continue to fight against God. We will not target you if you stay out of the way, but we will not stop until we get our revenge." With that, she spun on her heel and slammed the door behind her.

Putting it out of their minds for the time being, Otonashi turned to Kanade. They had a lot of catching up to do.

_You know, this IS a school. Do I have a dorm room?_

* * *

Turns out, the answer was yes. He did have a dorm room, and he didn't even have a roommate. He grimaced a bit at the thought of rooming with Noda. He knew he couldn't die again, but decapitation wasn't fun. Oh, yeah, he still had to punch Noda for interrupting his reunion with Kanade.

"You have questions," said Kanade.

"And you don't?" countered Otonashi.

"I've had decades to figure things out, so I have less."

That may have confirmed one of his suspicions, but it sent a pang through his chest, nonetheless. "You waited that long for me?"

She blinked owlishly at him. "What do you mean?"

"Well, we were apart for so long. Many people would, you know, move on."

Cocking her head to the side, she asked him, "Why would I do that?"

_Goddamnit, I love this girl._

Maybe, just maybe, God wasn't so bad after all.

"Ask more questions." Sure, why not?

It's not like they were short on time, and he could ask her whenever, but he sure as hell wanted to know the answers now. Why was the Battlefront fighting her? Did she have cool powers? Did she remember everything? Could she help him get his memories back? And yet, one single question stood out from the rest. Something that has bothered him since he first saw his reflection in the mirror.

"Why are we 16?" he asked grumpily. He still felt 20. He remembered going to med school. Why was he in the body of a teenager?

Kanade giggled a little. "I have a guess, but I cannot be sure. Time doesn't seem to exist here, at least, not in the way we understand it with our limited perception. Surely you guessed that?"

"I did, but it doesn't explain my de-aging."

"Physical age seems to follow the same trend as time."

"Then why should it matter what my age is?"

She thought for a moment. "This is a place for people to heal from past regrets."

"Sure."

"Our regrets stemmed from something that happened when we were 16."

Otonashi frowned. Sure, he didn't remember everything, but he was pretty sure they got together at 16. It couldn't be that, could it?

"No, it was not us getting together," said Kanade.

Otonashi sighed. "Am I that easy to read?"

"To me, yes," said Kanade, and, was she looking a little smug? "Yuzuru, that was the best day of my life. I could never regret that."

He wasn't blushing, right? Totally not. In fact, she was going to blush.

"Uh… I mean, no, that was the best day of my life!"

_Smooth, Otonashi._

Kanade, bless her soul, didn't notice a thing. She just seemed happy he was here.

"So, if it's not that, what do you regret?" he asked after a moment. "As a matter of fact, what do I regret? I feel pretty happy right now." Her words implied their regrets were one and the same, but that didn't give him any more clues as to what it could be.

In response, she just snuggled up closer to him. "Don't worry," she said, as he put his arm around her, "You'll remember everything soon enough, and I'll be right there when you do."

Of course, she knew he was missing memories without him saying anything. Was there anything this girl couldn't figure out? For now, there was only one more thing he had to ask.

"Kanade."

"Mm?"

"How did you die?"

She was quiet for some time. It was a tough question for anyone, he supposed.

"When you remember your death, I will tell you everything about my passing. For now, I would like to rest."

As he was drifting off, he heard Kanade ask him something.

"Yuzuru?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you believe memories lie in the heart?"

Sitting up in his bed, he thought about it. It was an old Japanese fable, one he believed until he started studying medicine. "A little while ago, I would have dismissed it as just a folktale; it's just an explanation for things that ancient people did not understand. Now, I'd accept almost anything." Being decapitated and waking up the week later tended to change your perspective on how the body worked.

You know, if what Kanade implied was true, it would explain a lot. He was dead, so he had no heartbeat, and therefore no memories.

_Then why did everyone else remember their life? Gah, this is too confusing._

"Okay." She pulled him close so that his head lied on her chest. "Sleep and remember."

"Um, Kanade?" he queried. "Shouldn't it be from my heart, not yours?"

"Just go to sleep."

"Yes, ma'am." She didn't say anything, but he could feel her smiling, and that was enough for him. Maybe there was some kind of telepathic link that she created with her new powers and she would awaken his memories, and their regrets would be fulfilled, and he would be able to move on with her and start another wonderful life together and–

"You're not sleeping."

"Sorry."

* * *

_Otonashi couldn't take it anymore._

_Hatsune's death at the age of six devastated all of them, and Otonashi was no exception. The siblings were only a year apart and were as close as two siblings could be. Every single afternoon was spent at the hospital, just keeping her company. In turn, Hatsune helped her brother. Her quiet gratitude and smiles meant the world to him. They kept him going, even if he didn't realize it for a long time. She was a beacon of light; strong, stubborn, compassionate, and loving, with a drive to live stronger than anyone he'd ever met._

_And now, she was gone._

_Hatsune's passing left a dark cloud over the household that wouldn't go away, even with time. Many families look to each other for comfort in times of grief, but it seemed his parents didn't know how to do that. They were never very attentive to begin with, always focused on Hatsune's treatment. That never bothered him, as he was right there beside them, worrying about her. After her death, though, it's like his parents forgot that he existed._

_So, he took to taking care of himself. He made his own meals, as always. He walked himself to and from school, like always. He did his homework and tucked himself in, like always._

_One day, they began to notice him._

_"Why is your room such a mess?" his mother asked him. "Hatsune was always so much cleaner."_

_"Why don't you ever hang out with friends?" his father asked him. "Hatsune was so popular with the other patients."_

_"Why didn't you get an A?" they would scold him. "Hatsune was so much smarter than you."_

_It hurt, but it was true. Hatsune was always better than him at everything. He didn't resent her, of course. He loved her and adored him. Despite being the younger sibling, he strived to be like her in every way. How could he fault his parents for wanting the same?_

_And then, he met Kanade, and they soon became best friends. Utterly inseparable, you couldn't mention one without the other. Come his ninth birthday, he asked to have Kanade over for dinner._

_"Just one person? Hatsune had five people for her birthday party." It hurt, but it was true. Hatsune DID have five people, but as long as his best friend came over, he'd be happy._

_Dinner went well. They sang happy birthday, had a chocolate cake (his favorite was vanilla, but chocolate was fine, too), and played board games. Kanade gave his parents weird looks, like she could see something under the surface, but said nothing about it. When she left, Otonashi heard his parents speaking in the kitchen when they thought he couldn't hear._

_"It's such a shame. Hatsune would have had a normal friend, yet look who Yuzuru dragged in."_

_For the first time since his sister died, he cried himself to sleep._

_Things never got better._

_Now, eight years later, in the dead of winter, he found himself on the doorstep of the Tachibana household. He didn't think they'd say no to his request, but it was still nerve-wracking. It was late, but he knew they were awake. It seemed like he spent his days at Kanade's house more than his own. He sometimes wondered if his parents even noticed._

_He rang the doorbell. One… two… maybe this was a mistake. He couldn't intrude on them. Three… four… he's been abusing their hospitality for as long as he can remember. Five… six… and for what reason? Because he didn't like being reminded about Hatsune? Seven… eight… no, that's not it. It's because he felt like he was part of a real family here. Nine… ten…_

_The door opened. Kanade stood in her nightwear, a concerned look on her face._

_He knew why he came here. The Tachibana household was warm and full of love. Love for each other, and love for him. He felt like he belonged here._

_"Yuzuru? What's wrong? Please, come in. I'll make you some tea." She turned around and walked away, presumably to the kitchen._

_Gathering up his courage, he asked Kanade, "Can I stay the night?"_

_At that moment, time stopped. At least, it felt like it did. It was the two of them, and no one else. They were frozen; the only moving parts of the scene unable to move. She turned around, and he prepared for the worst. Just how uncomfortable did he make her? They had been dating for about a year, sure, but he just asked to spend the night when her parents were here. What if she thought he'd do something improper? What if her PARENTS thought he'd do something improper? What if-_

_Oh. She was smiling._

_Kanade took a sharp right and headed up the stairs. That was a good sign. When she was excited, she never gave a "follow me," or anything of the sort, but why would she be excited? Wait, was she taking him up to her room? He couldn't sleep in her room; her parents would murder him, and she knew that. So, where were they going?_

_Apparently, his worries were baseless, as they were going to the closet. At least, that's what he thought it was. He'd never been in there, and it was always closed, so he presumed it was just for storage, or something like that. "Is that a yes?" he asked. "I wouldn't mind sleeping in here if you'd have me. I'm sorry to intrude on you. You can kick me back out if you want." God, he was so nervous. He wasn't normally like this, right?_

_"Yuzuru."_

_"Yes?"_

_"Look." Okay? Sure, why not? Maybe there was a spare mattress in there. He took a peek inside._

_"No way."_

_A bed, a nightstand, desk, and a wardrobe, all meticulously placed in a comfortable-looking bedroom. What really caught his eye wasn't all that, though. No, what instantly drew his attention was the nameplate above the bed. It said one word, one name._

_"It's yours, Yuzuru."_

_Utterly flabbergasted, he turned to Kanade. "What? How? When? What? WHAT?"_

_Giving that small smile he loved so much, she confessed, "It's been ready since we were 12. My family and I were just waiting for you to ask." Her smile was now a full-blown grin, one rarely given by the stoic girl. "Welcome home, Yuzuru."_

_There was nothing he could do but kiss the love of his life inside of his new home. He was finally where he belonged._


	5. Getting Reaquainted

_Otonashi couldn't wait for junior high school to start. The kids in elementary school were just plain mean. He could handle himself, but Kanade was more delicate. If she had an episode, he had to be there to stand up for her until the fatigue and vertigo wore off, but now, they were more grown-up. People in junior high were much more mature, right? Surely, they were more accepting of other people's differences._

_So, why were they giving him such weird looks? Did he have something on his face? No, he was fine. Kanade already wiped off the smudge on his cheek, but maybe she missed another? Taking a closer look and following their eyes, he realized they weren't looking at him. They were looking at Kanade._

_He didn't like those looks._

_Apparently, Kanade noticed it too and didn't like the stares either. She grabbed his hand seeking comfort, and he shifted so he was a bit in front of her as if to shield her from their roaming eyes._

" _Yuzuru," she whispered so that he strained to hear._

" _Yeah?" he whispered back._

" _Why are they looking at me like that?"_

_He flushed. "I think it has to do with that thing your dad talked to me about."_

" _The thing my mom talked to me about?"_

" _Yeah, that." How was she saying this so calmly? Otonashi had never felt so embarrassed as that day, and he was still mortified._

" _I don't like it when they look at me like that."_

" _Well, I won't let them. I'll be right here, protecting you."_

* * *

"Guard Skill: Hand Sonic."

Well.

Okay then.

His girlfriend had superpowers. Powers that looked very… stabby.

"That… is… awesome," said Otonashi. "Since when were you so cool?"

"Was I not cool before?" she asked him, head tilted slightly to the side.

"N-no you were really cool before!" he cried, waving his hands in front of his face. "I just meant 'cool' as in 'powerful,' you know?"

"It was not built for power."

"Meaning?"

"It is a Guard Skill." Ah, so it was for self-defense.

"Okay, yeah, that makes more sense. You never were one for attacking people."

"Yes, that was always your area of expertise."

Otonashi looked away. "I don't know what you're talking about," he muttered.

"You punched Saito in the jaw, kicked him in the groin, and forbade him from going near me."

He groaned. "Could you please just forget about that? I'm not some hero like you make me out to be."

"I will forget about it the day I stop being grateful that you saved me."

_That dark alleyway, Kanade prone on the ground, Haru Saito standing over her with lust in his eyes…_

No one was allowed to hurt Kanade. No one.

Otonashi would never say aloud that he was some hero. He was protecting his best friend, that's all. Still, her gratitude brought a slight smile to his face. He kind of liked being the knight in shining armor for a beautiful damsel.

_Okay, maybe I was a bit of a hero that day._

Changing the subject, he said, "Seems like you're more likely to do the saving now."

She smiled slightly. "I told you I'd protect you, didn't I?"

" _I will prove that you need protecting, too."_

"So, you did," he murmured. "I'd imagine superpowers make that easier. Say, how did you get them?"

"The Angel Player," she said, like that explained everything.

"The what?"

"It's a software that allows me to modify my physical capabilities. It has its limitations, but most of the said limitations are your programming skill and ingenuity."

In other words, Kanade was virtually omnipotent (what with her being a complete coding whiz) but would likely just use the program to increase her consumption rate for mapo tofu. Godly power was in just the right hands.

There was just one issue regarding her powers, and it had to do with the events preceding his arrival.

"You know, something doesn't make sense," mused Otonashi.

"What is it?"

"Yuri said she was fighting you because of your powers."

"Right."

"These powers were created for self-defense."

"Right."

"You created self-defense weapons when you discovered a need for them, such as being attacked."

"Right."

"So, Yuri attacked you _before_ you made them."

"Right."

"…"

"…"

He sighed. So much for that getting cleared up. "Okay. Thanks for answering."

"It's no trouble."

Yuri may have had the wrong idea about Kanade and the Afterlife in general, but she wasn't one to attack without a reason. She's a leader, not a tyrant. However, she attacked Kanade before there was reason to believe that Kanade was anything but another human.

" _We're a family here. We just want to help you. You just have to let us in."_

Otonashi really needed to figure this out. Those were not the words of someone who would attack unprovoked, yet she presumably did. What could cause that to happen? He would not repeat the mistakes of the past and declare Yuri as an enemy. Fighting wouldn't get them anywhere. He'd have to talk to her, ask what really happened, and if he didn't like the answer, then… then what? He wasn't sure. Yuri wasn't some villain, but someone he respected. She said she wouldn't fight them if they didn't get in her way, but there's no telling what the others in the Battlefront would do. After all, if Yuri's first reaction was anything to go by, there was reason to worry.

" _I'd say consorting with the enemy counts as betrayal."_

Surely, Hinata would understand the situation. They had spoken about Otonashi's doubts regarding Angel and the nature of the Afterlife, and it seemed Hinata had some of his own questions. If Hinata was open to discussion, Yui would be, too. The little she-devil quickly wormed her way into his circle of friends, as small as that may be, and he wasn't ready to let that go. As for the others, Otonashi didn't know them all that well, though he assumed that Shiina wouldn't care too much. Noda would try to kill him, but that was expected.

Perhaps he could reform the Battlefront, give them the option to move on or stay. That would be great, except he couldn't do that to Yuri. Personal demon or not, she was like a cool big sister to all of them. There had to be some middle ground, right? He'd have to talk to them all soon. It's not like Otonashi was planning some coup d'état, but coexistence or a new purpose for the Battlefront would be perfect. God, this was messy.

_Not to mention, if we move on, would I lose Kanade again?_

With a start, Otonashi realized that he didn't think of it like that. No, for him, it was exciting. It was another life with her, another set of experiences to share with his best friend. Why couldn't the Battlefront see it like that?

"I have other powers too."

"Oh? Show me."

"Guard Skill: Harmonics." Suddenly, two identical Kanade's stood in place of one.

His girlfriend was so damn cool.

* * *

"Hey, Yurippe," said Noda.

"What is it?" responded Yuri.

"Mind telling us what happened during the mission?"

"And just what makes you think something happened?"

"Well for one," he started counting on his fingers, "we haven't been briefed on the mission's results. Two, neither Otonashi nor Angel has been spotted since, and… hey, Hinata?"

"What's up?" asked Hinata.

"What comes after three?" asked Noda, puzzled.

"Seven," said Hinata with as straight a face as he could manage.

"Thanks," said Noda. "Seven, you've been looking down at your desk for an hour without saying anything."

"You're all morons," muttered Yuri. "I haven't said anything because I have no idea if the mission was a success or a failure."

"Huh?"

"How is that possible?"

"Did we capture Angel or not?"

"This is so stupid."

"QUIT MAKING NOISE, YOU FLOUNDERING FISH-FOR-BRAINS!" shouted Yuri. It got the room's attention just fine, but it didn't come with the respect (and slight fear) that normally came with it.

"Yurippe," said Hinata, gently, "That was really stupid, even for you."

"Look who's talking about stupid," she shot back. "You knew the mission was compromised, and you didn't say a thing!"

"H-hey," he defended, "I had no way to tell you guys!"

"Idiot! I gave you my favorite walkie-talkie!"

"There wasn't enough time!"

"You had five minutes, and that's more than enough time to say, 'hey everyone, turns out Angel may be A FREAKING HUMAN, so let's not shoot, please?'" The room erupted into whispers.

"Angel is human?"

"But she's so powerful!"

"Does that mean she can't get us access to God?"

"Is she single?"

"This is so stupid."

Hinata backed up a few steps as if to avoid being hit. "N-now, now, Yurippe, t-that's not exactly what happened. Otonashi just had some suspicions about the whole situation and–"

"Angel was his girlfriend."

"…ah."

"After Noda shot him, she carried him all the way up to the infirmary and didn't leave his side for the whole recovery process."

"Well, uh…"

"The best part? This whole time, she was just trying to help us, and we just never bothered to talk to her."

The Battlefront sat there and stewed for a while. It was Takematsu who broke the silence, pushing his glasses up his nose and saying what they were all thinking.

"We screwed up, didn't we?"

* * *

"Yuzuru."

"Yes?"

"I found something."

Otonashi and Kanade were lounging around her dorm room, just enjoying the evening. Well, Otonashi was. Kanade was hard at work going through some letters from previous students with amnesia, hoping they would be of some help to him. The whole "memories in the heart" theory seemed to work well enough, and they discussed at length all that they had discovered, but Kanade seemed to think that more methods were better than one, and who was he to disagree? It was clear to him that she wanted him to remember his death and that thing from when he was 16, so he was willing to try a few things.

"About time. You've been at it for an hour." In response, she just stood up and walked out of the room. Figures.

* * *

"Stairs."

"Yes."

"Stairs will help."

"Right."

"How?"

In response, she pushed him down said stairs.

"What the hell was that for?" he yelled, sporting some brand-new bruises.

"I'm sorry, I miscalculated. You were supposed to land on your head."

_Goddammit, Kanade._

"That doesn't work in real life. Just fiction."

"I see." Did she, though? Did she?

"Yeah, in real life, people use stuff like shock therapy."

"Ah. I can do that." Otonashi knew this was the Afterlife and things were strange here, but what kind of school had shock therapy? "Hand Skill: Electric Saber."

_Oh, shit._

Kanade's hands turned into _freaking lightning bolts_ and she crouched into a ready position, aiming straight for his chest. He was starting to see why the Battlefront thought she might get her powers from God.

"No way, uh-uh, not doing this."

"But–"

"Put it away, Kanade."

"Aw… I really wanted to use that ability…" Damn, she was giving him _that_ look.

"No. I'm not a human lightning rod. We'll find another way."

"Please? Just one shock? I worked very hard on this." Was she honestly pouting because she couldn't strike him with about a billion volts of electricity? There's no way he would give in, even if she was adorable with the way her eyes shined and her bottom lip jutted out just the right amount. It's not like he wouldn't just regenerate, and he always liked when Kanade was his nurse. There _was_ that time in seventh grade where he may or may not have had a broken arm for an extra week just so she could dote on him, and this injury would be significantly worse.

_I'm not seriously considering this, am I?_

"Fine. Just one shock. This better work."

It didn't.

* * *

"Student Council Vice President, sir!"

"What is it? Speak."

"Student Council President Tachibana was found entering a boy's dormitory past curfew, a direct violation of Rule 13 Clause C4 and Rule 47 Clause A6, respectively."

"Was she now? Thank you for the information. Now, get out of my sight."

"Yes, sir!"

So, Tachibana would sneak off to a boy's room, despite wearing that necklace. Naoi was sickened by how easily she would tarnish _his_ memory. It disgusted him. She didn't deserve her power.

This wasn't even the first report from his underlings about Tachibana in recent days, and it seemed it wouldn't be the last. The Angel was slipping up and did not even bother to attend classes anymore. He would easily be able to discredit her, if the growing mountain of reports on his desk was any indication, and nothing would stop him from taking her position. Red eyes glared out from under a green cap. "Your power is mine now, Tachibana. God will take his rightful place!"


	6. Catharsis

It was a unanimous decision by the Battlefront to give Otonashi and Angel a few days to themselves. Yuri had to admit, a large part of that decision wasn't just about letting the two of them get reacquainted, but more out of a fear that they would hate the Battlefront for their actions the last few decades. Yuri felt some time to simmer down would do some good. Not to mention, she had to calm down herself. She was still pissed off at Angel. No, Tachibana. Whatever. It didn't matter. The intentions sounded nice and all when Otonashi explained it, but the memory of Tachibana taking _them_ away from her would never leave her mind's eye. So, she'd play her part to keep a semblance of peace, but if Tachibana took a single step out of line, Yuri would destroy her.

You know, she had to wonder: did standing over Otonashi's charred body with a lightning bolt in her hand count as stepping out of line? Yuri didn't know why she'd even bother asking. Whipping out her pistols, she shot two rounds into Tachibana's legs, bringing her to her knees and incapacitating her.

"Back away from Otonashi, right now!" she yelled. Tachibana didn't move. "Are you stupid? Back away! I won't let you hurt him anymore."

"I was helping him," said Tachibana in a monotone, still looking down at Otonashi.

"Helping him my ass. You attacked him with a lightning bolt!"

"I was helping him," she insisted. Was she stupid, or just sadistic? Then, Otonashi's words floated back to her.

" _Did you ever consider that maybe she just doesn't communicate the same way you do?"_

Taking a deep breath but not lowering her pistol, Yuri demanded, "Explain. Now. How would this help him?"

"Yuzuru said shock therapy is used to help with amnesia, so we were trying my Electric Saber. I'm waiting for him to wake up and see if he remembers anything."

"Shock therapy."

"Right."

"With a lightning bolt."

"Right."

"And he allowed this?"

"Yes."

"…"

"…"

Yuri shook her head. "You two are morons, you know that?"

"Yuzuru isn't a moron." Yuri noticed she said nothing about herself. You know, with an attitude like that, Tachibana would fit right in with the rest of the Battlefront.

_No. Not going down that train of thought._

Tachibana destroyed her psyche, maliciously and apathetically. She would never be welcome in their ranks.

But… what if there was more to that story?

Yuri looked down at Otonashi's burnt, unconscious body. The situation looked absolutely horrible, but with insider knowledge, it wasn't so bad. Could it be possible that _that_ day was the same?

"Hey, Tachibana?" Yuri began tentatively. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," said Tachibana.

"That day when I came here," she started, careful to make sure her voice wouldn't break, "what really happened?"

Tachibana didn't say anything, but Yuri's keen eyes saw her shoulders stiffen. Tachibana clearly knew what Yuri was referring to. "Please," pleaded Yuri. "I have to know." When it was clear that no response was forthcoming, traitorous tears prickled at her eyes. "Tell me!" she yelled, lifting her arms to hold her gun to Tachibana's forehead. "Tell me or I'll kill you until you spill every last bit of information you have!"

Tachibana's golden eyes finally dragged themselves away from Otonashi to look onto Yuri's green ones. "They were my friends."

"Liar!" screamed Yuri. "You took them away from me! Tell me the truth!"

"That is the truth," said Tachibana, as calm as someone who didn't have a pistol between her eyes. "They were my only companions for a long time. They arrived here not long after I did. They told me all about you. About their cool big sister who did everything she could to protect them. How they wanted nothing more than to see you one last time. When you arrived and they saw you, their regret was fulfilled. They moved on, peacefully and happily. I did nothing to them. I did not want to say goodbye. I was selfish and asked them to stay, but they were happy to see their sister one last time."

Tachibana looked away, fidgeting with her necklace. "I am sorry for your loss. I miss them dearly. Perhaps if they stayed just a moment longer, none of this would have happened and we could have been friends." She frowned. "You don't deserve this cruel fate. I understand your anger. I was angry for a long time, too, but you need to let it go. Your siblings wanted you to be happy, just like they were in their last moments."

She stood up. "Now, I need to take Yuzuru to the infirmary. I imagine he'll be in a lot of pain when he wakes up." She walked away, carrying Otonashi over one shoulder like he was a sack of flour, and walked away without looking back. It wasn't until much later that Yuri realized that the bullets in Tachibana's legs did not hinder her at all. After all, who could think of something like that when you're a sobbing mess on the ground?

* * *

Otonashi groaned, the smell of ozone assaulting his nose. Not for the first time, he cursed the existence of puppy dog eyes. Why did he let himself fall for those _again_? Lightning bolts kill, not cure amnesia. Did shock therapy even work? Oh, yeah. He had absolutely no idea. It was just something he read somewhere on the internet.

"Did you remember anything?" asked Kanade.

Turning his head, he took a deep breath before responding with a firm, "No." Or, at least, he tried to, as his throat was literally burnt to a crisp.

"Here, drink this," said Kanade, offering up a cup of water and tipping it down his throat. Sure, it cooled him down a little, and her hand on the back of his head was nothing to complain about, but he wasn't any closer to speaking.

She frowned. "It seems I'll have to remove that skill. It's a shame. I really liked Electric Saber." Well, Otonashi hated it. "I suppose the heart method will do fine. It's slow, but if you listen to your heartbeat, it will all come back to you." Helping him up, Kanade slowly walked him back in the direction of her dorm room. On the way, they passed a bunch of NPCs. They seemed to be heading to some kind of assembly if what he overheard was any indication.

Kanade tugged on his sleeve to get his attention. "Your wounds should be fully healed after a night of rest."

That was all well and good, but the problem was that she kept saying to listen to his heartbeat when he didn't have one. He wanted to bring it up but couldn't. His windpipe was crushed, and no sound would come out. Otonashi was just glad he couldn't die from a lack of oxygen.

"Otonashi? Hey, wait up!" That sounded like Hinata. Heh, he'd actually missed the guy. Well, that was until Hinata slapped his back to greet him, irritating his already damaged skin.

"Careful, he's hurt," admonished Kanade, and Hinata jumped back. Otonashi knew that she was short, standing just under five feet tall, but there was no way that Hinata just didn't notice her, right?

_Oh. Right. He's a moron._

"A-Angel, nice to s-see you! Heh, heh…" Hinata seemed to scramble for words.

"I am not an angel," she responded plainly.

"Right, of course, Ang- Tachibana, right? How silly of me, heh…"

"You have nothing to fear from me unless you attack me or Yuzuru."

"Why would I attack you?"

"You've been doing it for years."

"Oh, right, yeah. Sorry about that. Let's just forget about it, sounds good? Turn over a new leaf and all that." Oh, come on. Kanade was nice and all, but no one could forgive decades of unprovoked attacks just like that, right?

_You've gotta be kidding me._

Pure, unadulterated happiness shone in her eyes as she shook Hinata's hand, telling him that all was forgiven. A smile broke out on his face, and they slipped into an easy conversation. Conversation. Kanade. She must be in a really good mood.

_There's no way it could be that easy._

And yet, it was. Otonashi knew Hinata would come around pretty easily, what with his kind nature and his willingness to cooperate with Otonashi because of his suspicions during Operation: Bait, but Kanade was hurt by all of this. He could see it in her eyes whenever shes mentioned her history with the Battlefront.

Ah, so that's it.

There was something else in her eyes, a look he'd seen back in the third grade. Loneliness. It had disappeared in their lives as they always had each other, but after her death, they were separated for decades. Not to mention, when he died, she seemed to imply she'd been alive for much longer. He left her alone, and he knew better than anyone just how much she struggled to make friends. Otonashi literally pushed aside a crowd to meet her, and it took her weeks to admit to herself that they were friends and he wasn't just pitying her.

So many years of this and it was no surprise that she'd jump at the chance to make a friend. In life, he and Kanade were as tight-knit as they come, but that didn't allow for other people to join their circle of friends. They'd feel third-wheeled, even before Otonashi and Kanade dated. He always felt like he was keeping her from other people, but Kanade assured him that it wasn't the case. She had tried making other friends in her classes, but it just didn't work out. She said she was just happy to have her best friend by her side.

Still, he worried about her. It wasn't healthy to not have other friends or at least some acquaintances. The fact that she was now having a conversation with someone else, even if they were once enemies, made him happy. Otonashi was just glad it was someone like Hinata. Hinata was an honest and kind man, one who wouldn't judge her for her differences.

He wanted to tell her all this; tell her how proud he was of her and that her happiness meant everything to him. However, he was stuck as a mute for a little while longer. Still, he wouldn't be surprised if she already knew exactly how he felt. That girl was perceptive as hell and he could never hide anything from her. One look into his eyes and everything was laid bare.

"I'll talk to Yurippe about recruiting you," Hinata was saying. "We'd love to have someone like you fighting on our side."

"That won't be necessary," said Kanade. "Our goals are far too different. However, I would appreciate being able to spend time with your group. I would like to get to know all of you better."

Hinata grinned. "Sounds great to me. The password to our headquarters is, 'There is no God, Buddha, or Angel.'" He frowned. "Shit."

"What is it?"

"Yurippe is going to destroy me when she realizes I gave you the password without her permission."

"It's okay, I can wait for her permission. You know where to find me."

Saying their goodbyes, Kanade continued walking Otonashi to her dorm. It wasn't too far, and they were there in a couple of minutes. As soon as the door was shut behind them, her mask fell, and she turned to him with a smile so wide that it threatened to split her face in two. "Yuzuru," she said with childlike wonder, "I think I just made a friend. A real friend!" She hugged him gently, mindful of his injuries. "It's all thanks to you. If you weren't here, we'd still be fighting, and I'd still be alone. Then you came, and everything changed. In a single night, I got the love of my life back and made peace with the Battlefront. I've been happy for the first time in forever, and you've even helped me make a friend. I can never thank you enough for everything you've done for me.

"I love you, Yuzuru." With that, she rose up and planted a gentle kiss on his lips. Otonashi thought he could pass on happily there and then.

She tugged on his sleeve and lied him down on her bed, soon climbing in after. She spent a few minutes doting on him, just making sure he was comfortable.

_Yep, this was definitely Heaven._

Seemingly satisfied that he was in "prime healing position," whatever that meant, she threw all her effort out the window and placed his head on her chest. Honestly, it was a lot more comfortable than his previous position, and who didn't love a good cuddle?

"The Tachibana Heart Method has proven to be more reliable than shock therapy." Was she seriously naming this like it was one of her sorting algorithms? This girl really was something else. "I propose a variation. I want you to keep an image in your mind to see if it brings up any specific memories." That made sense. His dreams often mirrored what he was thinking about when he fell asleep, so it was only natural that she would recommend this. What would she say? Their first date? His room at their house? Their university apartment? He knew they lived together during their college days, and he presumably died during that time period, so maybe something happened in their place.

"I want you to think about trains."

Well, okay then. That wasn't what he expected. Maybe because of the term "train of thought"? He had no clue how this stuff worked. To be honest, Otonashi was more focused on Cardiology and Oncology, not so much Psychology. The previous two had a bit more of a personal connection to him, but he didn't care for much more than rudimentary knowledge about Psychology. The brain was weird.

Pushing the thought aside, Otonashi decided to relax. He could muse about his choice of specialties later. Right now, he needed to get his memory back. He reached up a bit to give Kanade a goodnight kiss and was promptly pushed back down.

"I said trains, not kisses."


	7. Your Heart

" _I'm scared, Yuzuru."_

" _Me too, Kanade."_

_Typically, an Atrial Septal Defect was somewhat minor. A small hole in the heart could cause fatigue, dizziness, even collapsing in severe cases. Kanade's hole in her heart was, to put it bluntly, huge. If they didn't do anything about it, she would be dead in a few months. There was virtually no chance of getting a donor in time considering her blood type, so the doctors gave a recommendation that caused no small amount of anxiety for the couple._

_The operation was experimental and didn't have the greatest success rate, but if it succeeded, she would have her whole life ahead of her. So, it became Sophie's Choice: does she risk it all for longevity, or enjoy her last moments in peace? In the end, she took the risk. It terrified them both, but her words to him would never be forgotten._

" _I want a life of happiness with the one I love instead of three months hooked up to wires on a hospital bed. I want a family with you."_

_After that, was it really a choice anymore?_

_So, there he found himself about to board a train to the hospital, making one last call before he went underground. "I know it's terrifying," he said, "but if anyone can do it, it's you. You're so strong, Kanade. You're a survivor. I believe in you."_

_The other end of the line was silent for a little while until he heard a small voice whisper back. "Thank you, Yuzuru. I trust you. You'll be here soon?"_

" _I'll be there in an hour or so."_

" _Come quickly. I need you by my side. I love you."_

" _I love you too. Hey, when I get there, I have a little something for you."_

" _What is it?"_

" _That's for me to know and for you to find out. Train's here. I'll call as soon as I get off."_

_He never called._

* * *

Otonashi wasn't proud of it, but he woke up crying. Not for himself, of course. He was already dead, so why mourn himself? No, he was crying for Kanade. He really did leave her alone, didn't he? Waiting in that dreary hospital, about to enter a life-threatening surgery, and he just left her there.

A pair of warm, soft arms encircled him from behind, soothing him a bit. Kanade rocked him slowly, whispering to him.

"I'm here, Yuzuru. It's okay. Just let it out. I love you. I'm right here. I'll protect you from whatever is plaguing you. It's okay."

"How can you say that?" he croaked. His throat must have healed a bit during his rest. "I left you all alone in the hospital. You must have been terrified, and I couldn't help you. I left you alone. I left…" he paused, trying to force the words out. "I promised I would never let you be lonely, but I left you when you needed me most."

In response, she hugged him tighter. "It's okay," she murmured. "You didn't drive the train, and you didn't crash it. None of it was your fault. I was scared, yes, but I never once blamed you."

Neither of them said anything while Otonashi calmed down. "The operation failed, didn't it? That's why you're here."

"I never had that operation."

"Ah," muttered Otonashi miserably, "so you died before they could even attempt it."

She smiled. "No, silly. I lived until I was 32."

Time seemed to freeze. "Wh-what?" he cried. "But you said you didn't have an operation?"

"No, I said I didn't have _that_ operation. There's a difference."

_Well, it's technically the truth…_

Her smile turned wistful. "They found a donor. He gave me his beautiful, kind heart. For many years, I wanted nothing more than to thank the man who gave me my youth."

"Kanade…"

She got to live. With or without him, she survived. That was what mattered, right? Still, he couldn't help but feel a slight pang of jealousy at how she described this man. "Did you ever find out his name?" he asked, carefully keeping his voice even. He was already on an emotional rollercoaster; he didn't need this, too.

Kanade said nothing. He turned around in her arms to find her staring at him expectantly. What is it?" he asked, a little impatiently. She wasn't struggling to communicate; she just wasn't telling him. "What aren't you telling me?"

"Yuzuru," she began, gently, "Remember your last moments. What happened?"

He frowned. He wasn't sure what that had to do with anything. He was talking to Igarashi and made a last-minute decision to… oh. _Oh!_

_My lack of a heartbeat. Laying on Kanade's chest to get his memories back._

"I gave you my heart," he whispered, then threw his head back and laughed. It hurt his throat to strain it like this, but he didn't care at the moment. "We always said I'd give you my heart to fix the hole in yours, but I never thought I'd mean it _literally_!"

If that wasn't evidence that they were perfect for each other, he didn't know what was.

Kanade closed her eyes, a look of peace on her face. She gripped the chain of her necklace as if to remind herself it was still there. "Thank you, Yuzuru Otonashi. Thank you for everything. You gave me my youth with your heart. While I missed you terribly, you never left me. When I closed my eyes, I could hear you whispering to me. Every beat of your heart told me you loved me; my pulse became a source of comfort, not worry." She opened her eyes and looked up at him with those beautiful golden eyes and the smile he loved more than anything else. "Now, your soul is here as well. Your wonderful, beautiful soul. You're here with me again. I've waited so, so very long to tell you thank you, to tell you how much I love you. Thank- mmph!"

The kiss was unlike anything he'd ever experienced before. The sheer amount of passion overwhelmed him; it was more than they'd ever shown at once. Even when they got together, or when she gave him a new home… nothing compared to the discovery that they were soulmates in every possible way.

Finally breaking apart, Kanade breathlessly said with an adorable pout, "You never let me finish a speech."

Otonashi just laughed.

For most of his life, he'd felt absolutely useless. He couldn't save his sister from cancer. He couldn't cure Kanade, despite studying medicine. Then, in his final moments, he saved her. He gave his heart to the love of his life.

" _One day, I will prove to you without a shadow of a doubt that you matter."_

You know, perhaps she was right. Maybe his existence counted for something after all.

Still, something wasn't quite right. "Kanade?" he asked.

"Yes, love?" He had almost forgotten how cute it was when she called him that.

"Did my heart fail you?"

"No," she soothed, "It was perfect."

"Then why did you die so young?"

She blinked up at him, confused. "I wasn't young. I was 32."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Yuzuru responded as evenly as he could. "Maybe in Ancient Egypt that would be considered a long life, but in the 21st century, even 50 could be considered as dying young."

"But I was supposed to die at 22. Your heart gave me another decade." Ah, so it was merely a matter of perspective.

"That's true, but you still died earlier than expected. What happened?"

She was quiet. Otonashi understood. After all, he was an absolute mess less than a half-hour ago. He would be patient, even if his hands shook in anticipation. Did another organ fail? Was there a pandemic? Did she get in an accident? Oh, crap, what if she was killed?

"I tripped and hit my head."

Well.

Uh.

Okay then.

"I can't say I expected that," he said. "I knew you didn't have the greatest balance, but I never expected it would lead to your death.

"It wasn't my balance. I was looking behind me while running from a stalker and I tripped."

_Wait, what the fuck?_

Anger filled him and he forced himself to take deep breaths.

"Tell me everything," he said once he calmed down. "It might be able to answer some questions about the train, too. Something is still a bit fuzzy. It's like my memory skipped over it." Her face fell, and he realized he was missing something important.

"Okay," she nodded, "but can we please get some breakfast first? I'm hungry, and it's a long story." That was fair, he supposed. He was feeling a bit peckish anyway.

"Come on," he said, extending a hand to her. "Let's go get some mapo tofu."

The resulting smile was enough to put this all behind him, at least for the time being.

* * *

"Nakamura, I need you to come with me."

Sure, they weren't fighting Angel, but the Battlefront couldn't function without a little chaos. After all, they didn't want to be reincarnated as a dragonfly, or a puppy. Well, Shiina might not mind the latter, but she seemed to prefer petting them instead.

Currently, they were all playing a pick-up game of baseball, with Hinata and Yuri as team captains. Long-time friends and comrades they may be, but that only fueled the fire of their rivalry. Hinata was a baseball pro, but years of playing against him leveled the playing field between the two.

Also, Hinata had Yui on his team, so that may or may not have contributed to his crippling defeat.

"Damn it, Yui! You need to tag him with the hand holding the ball!"

"How was I supposed to know that?"

"We went over this _five minutes ago_ , you idiot!"

"You're the idiot if you think a cute girl like me has any interest in this stupid game."

Yuri sighed, not nearly invested enough into their argument to get them to shut up. She had enough on her mind. Hinata noticed earlier, of course, but she shot his left shin when he brought it up, so that was the end of that. She didn't need some other moron fixing her problems for her. Noda being a White Knight was bad enough. Still, she couldn't deny how happy it made her to have the Battlefront watching her back; this annoying, idiotic group of dorks meant everything to her, and she'd lay down her life for any of them in an instant.

She was dragged out of her thoughts when she detected movement behind her.

_Only 50 paces away. I'm off my game. Damn you, Tachibana. You really threw me for a loop._

Turning to engage a potential enemy, she forced herself to relax when she saw it was just a few NPCs. The guy leading them looked familiar, now that Yuri thought about it. Wasn't he the Student Council Vice President? That was a good sign. He was just an NPC, and no NPC posed a threat to her. So, when he demanded she come with him, she put a hand on her hip and laughed.

"What for? We're just enjoying a friendly game of baseball."

"During school hours. You're supposed to be in class."

Yuri smirked. "What are you going to do about it? You're just a mindless NPC." It's not like he'll remember it by the time the sun rose the next morning, so why bother filtering what she said? He'd just get weirded out and leave.

So why was he laughing maniacally?

"Mindless?" he cackled, eyes glowing a startling shade of red. "I'll show you mindless," and she knew no more.


	8. An Angel's Tale

"You still don't remember why we are here."

"What makes you say that?"

Otonashi and Kanade had finished their mapo tofu and, in Otonashi's case, enough water to cause a drought. Did they run out of water in the Afterlife? It hadn't rained, as far as he knew. He was unconscious for much of his stay, but the consistent trend of blue skies and sunny days led him to believe that the weather was always nice.

"If you remembered, we would have moved on."

"Huh. That's some regret."

"It is."

What if someone's regret was that they never had a snowball fight? Was there another Afterlife, but in the tundra? Otonashi would say that sounded like Hell, but he was pretty sure that the phrase "when Hell freezes over" implied it's not a chilly place.

"I'll admit, I remember pretty much everything about the train accident and my death, but there's this fuzziness over certain parts. Something tells me that if I remember that, I'll know my regret."

"Maybe."

"But Kanade, you remember it, right?"

"Right."

"So, why haven't you moved on?"

Heaven and Hell were placed as opposites, and Hell was just a bunch of fire, so did that mean Heaven was in the tundra? That would suck. Otonashi was a mapo tofu guy, not an ice cream guy. Maybe he could ask Yui how to go to Hell without being a bad person. She _was_ a demon, right? The fangs and pointed tail were a dead giveaway. Come to think of it, that was probably one of his stupider ideas. An endless summer vacation sounded nice, but eternal damnation might get old fast. He'd rather be reincarnated as a beetle, or maybe a butterfly.

"I cannot."

"But you said we would move on if I remembered."

"Right."

"You remember, but you're still here."

"Right."

"Kanade, you're not making sense again."

"I'm sorry. I don't know how to explain it."

Otonashi sighed. "I think I get it. You can't explain it because you need me to remember first."

Kanade's eyes brightened a little and she nodded. "Thank you for understanding."

They sat in companionable silence before Otonashi cleared his throat. "So," he began, "Tell me how you died."

_Smooth, Otonashi. Way to lead her into it._

Kanade didn't seem to mind, choosing instead to fiddle with her necklace. It was a simple chain of silver; he's not sure he would have noticed it if she didn't keep fidgeting with it. She was never one for jewelry in life, but she always gripped her clothes when stressed, so perhaps this was her way of fulfilling that without ruining her student council outfit.

Without a sound, she stood up, walked around to his side of the table, and plopped herself down in his lap.

"It's comfier than the bench," she explained. There were worse situations to be in, he supposed.

As she told her tale, he realized just how right he was.

* * *

_Yuzuru wasn't here._

_He promised he would be. That means he would be here, but one, two, even six hours passed, and she heard nothing from him. After multiple missed calls, voicemails, and texts, she knew something was wrong. Her phone couldn't reach him underground, she knew that, but he shouldn't be underground at this point. He should be here, at her side._

_Anxiety overtook her and her heart sped out of control. Where was he? What happened to him? She needed to know. A nurse rushed in after hearing Kanade's heart monitor and gave her a light sedative and a gentle admonish to keep calm._

_Ignoring that, Kanade asked desperately, "Where is Yuzuru?"_

" _Who?"_

" _Yuzuru. My boyfriend. His train should have arrived hours ago."_

_The nurse grimaced, and mumbled, "Oh, the poor dear."_

_Kanade started panicking. "What? What is it?"_

_In response, the nurse turned on the TV to the evening news, and Kanade's world fell apart._

* * *

_She retreated into herself, hardly acknowledging anyone else. She just glued her eyes to the TV all day, every day, hoping for some news. After all, the tunnel was just collapsed, right? There were no confirmed deaths. "Yuzuru is okay," she would tell herself. "He's just stuck."_

_Every day, her doctor would enter her room at 9 A.M. sharp and ask her one question. Every day, she would give the same answer._

" _Are you ready to have your operation?"_

" _Not until Yuzuru is here."_

_She felt so useless. She was supposed to be there for him, in this life and the next, but he was stuck underground. He must be so terrified, alone in that dark tunnel. He would be okay, though. She knew it. Yuzuru was strong and resourceful. Surely, he could last another day. The news said they were almost able to rescue them, but they had to be careful drilling to avoid collapsing the tunnel. He would be safe soon, and she would never let him go._

_Then came the seventh day. They breached the tunnel successfully and were helping victims out. She couldn't wait to see him, to talk to him again. When was the last time she went a whole week without talking to him? She wasn't sure ever had, and she most certainly was not going to do it again._

_One by one, the victims were brought out. Some were unconscious but undoubtedly alive. One even managed to stand with some help, and the cameraman focused on him to ask him some questions. No, no, go back to the victims! She needed to see Yuzuru, see that he's okay and alive, but they weren't turning back. So, she listened. Maybe this guy would mention something about Yuzuru._

_He did say something, but it was the last thing she ever wanted to hear._

" _He saved our lives at the cost of his own. A hero in every sense of the word. I'm honored to tell the world that in his final days, I was friends with Yuzuru Otonashi."_

_Kanade didn't remember much after that. Did she scream? Cry? Both? Was she even conscious? It was all a blur. The heart monitor on her bedside sent out an alarm, and a doctor came in with a team of nurses._

" _We have to operate, NOW," yelled the doctor. "Damn it, we've already waited too long."_

_Her world faded to darkness, but that didn't matter. Did the light really mean anything if there was no one to share it with?_

_When she came to, a doctor she'd never met before told her everything. How it was too late to perform their experimental surgery, but there was a nearby donor that ended up being a perfect match. He was brought in for his expertise on heart transplants, so he took over the surgery. He smiled and told her the good news: she would live a long, full life. Her heart would no longer bother her. They just needed to watch over her for a week to make sure everything was okay._

_Kanade didn't care. Without looking at him, she asked, "Who was it?"_

" _Excuse me?" asked the doctor._

" _Whose heart was it?" she clarified._

_The doctor checked her file before responding. "It seems your new heart came from… oh! It's the hero from that train accident, Yuzuru Otonashi."_

_Conversation was pointless after that as Kanade shut down._

_The next few days were hell, both for herself and her caretakers. Whenever a nurse came to check on her, she could be found curled up in herself, hands over her ears. She'd sit there for hours on end, not responding to the outside world, and would reject any medications the nurses offered. The doctor who performed the transplant offered the services of a therapist, but she refused. They didn't get it. She didn't need help._

_She was listening to his heart._

* * *

_On the fourth day, Kanade was told she had a visitor. She didn't care. It wasn't her parents. They were stuck in the United States after a business trip because of an issue with immigration. The doctor probably went and got a shrink for her anyway. It's not like she'd talk. There was nothing to talk about. She just needed to listen to his heartbeat._

" _Kanade Tachibana?"_

_The voice sounded familiar, but she was too tired to place it._

" _My name is Sora Igarashi. I was with Otonashi on the train."_

_Slowly, Kanade turned around, finally taking her hands off her ears. It was the guy from the interview, the one who called Yuzuru his friend. His eyes were solemn yet strong like he'd stared down Hell and lived to tell the tale._

_Igarashi cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable with her silence. "You know, he talked about you a lot. It was obvious how much he loved you."_

_She was silent, but her eyes were focused on his, drinking up his every word. "He saved us all. Without him, every one of us would be dead. He was a true hero." Fighting down tears, Igarashi continued. "There was even this kid he bonded with. He was all alone, and Otonashi took him under his wing. Kept talking about introducing him to you. I swear, he was acting like my dad would." A bittersweet smile found its way to Igarashi's face as the memories of Otonashi and the kid flitted across his mind before they were squashed down. "It was so unfair. Otonashi died right as they opened the tunnel." Showing something to Kanade, he said, "He was holding this when he died. I have no doubt it was for you." After handing it to Kanade, Igarashi turned around, clearly intent on letting the woman grieve._

" _Wait."_

_He turned around, solemn eyes piercing her heart._

" _Tell me everything."_

* * *

_It wasn't until she was discharged that Kanade realized just how nonfunctional she was without Yuzuru. She skipped meals, forgot to bathe, stopped sleeping regularly, and isolated herself from the outside world._

_Throughout the day, she would take one of his jackets, wrap herself in it while curled up on the bed, and cover her ears with as much force as she could take. His heartbeat gently pulsed through her chest like hers never did. He always was her heart, wasn't he? They say that your loved ones were never really gone because they lived inside your heart. It seemed the line between figurative and literal was more blurred than she thought._

_Any time she felt lonely, she would curl up and listen. I love you. I love you. I love you. That's what every beat said, and she would whisper it back in time._

_Even after her life gained a modicum of stability, the habit never went away._

_She threw her whole life into her career as a software developer. The routine nature of her job was a wonderful way for her to cope with grief, especially when she was great at what she did. She got promotion after promotion, rising through the ranks at Sony at a startling rate. She was on the fast track to becoming one of the youngest Chief Information Officers in the world. She attracted the attention of multiple other businesses; her talent as a programmer coupled with her youth made her a desirable target. However, she rejected every single offer. She barely had her life together as it was, and she couldn't deviate from her strict routine lest it all fall apart._

_That wasn't the only undesirable attention she got. Many of the men (quite a few much older than her) often asked her to dinner, but she refused. She did not need a man in her life. One had the gall to promise her that she would never be lonely with him around, but she had never heard anything more ridiculous. If she was lonely, all she had to do was listen to Yuzuru's heartbeat. Still, it confused her. There were plenty of other women at her workplace, so why weren't they approached as much as she was? Kanade asked her coworker, Mio, why this was happening and was promptly laughed at._

" _Do you really not get it? You're good looking, talented, and you have this mysterious air about you. Men want to figure you out. Maybe you should say yes to one of their offers, you know? It'll be good for you to have a boyfriend."_

_If anything, that confused Kanade even more. She already had a boyfriend, and his heart was hers in every possible way._

_Mio, oblivious to Kanade's thoughts, continued. "You know, I hear the new HR guy, Saito, has his eyes on you."_

_Kanade frowned. The name Saito left a bad taste in her mouth. She said as much and walked away, fidgeting with her necklace._

_When she arrived at her desk the next morning, she found a bouquet of roses on her desk, surrounded by giggling coworkers. She skimmed the attached note._

_Roses are red_

_Violets are blue_

_An angel like you_

_Is too good to be true_

_~ Saito_

_Much to the disappointment of her nearby coworkers, she dumped it in the trash without a second thought. Yuzuru would have never gotten her anything so stupid. At the very least he would talk to her directly. His heart pulsed in agreement._

_The next morning, she arrived to find another note attached to yet another bouquet of roses._

_Roses are red_

_Christmas is in December_

_Come to my place_

_I'll give you a night to remember_

_~ Saito_

_They found their way to the bin, and she filed a harassment complaint to Human Resources. That should have been the end of that, but it continued every single day. The flowers stayed the same, but the notes became increasingly more vulgar, and it soon became apparent that he was stalking her._

_Stop hanging around guys_

_At the video store_

_Talk to your soulmate instead_

_Don't be a whore_

_~ Saito_

_It was like he deluded themselves into thinking they were in a relationship, and that she belonged to him._

_Kanade filed the same complaint every day but received no response. Then, she remembered Mio saying that Saito worked for HR, so he could very well be deleting the reports before anyone else saw them._

_Speaking of Mio, she was the one that said that Saito had an eye on her, so Kanade asked her for more information on him._

" _So, you ARE interested! Oh, I'm so happy for you. You need a man in your life. His name's Haru Saito, and he's so dreamy. He's… where are you going?"_

_Kanade stopped listening and went straight to her boss, telling him that she was leaving for the day._

" _What? Tachibana, you've never left early. Is everything all right?"_

" _I'm fine. It's just a headache."_

_She ran as soon as she left the building, her mind burning with the image of Haru Saito standing over her in a dark alleyway, this time without Yuzuru to save her._

* * *

_Normally, Kanade was grateful that she lived so close to her work. She only had to walk a few minutes, didn't need to buy a car, and never had to use public transportation. When she arrived at her apartment, she cursed that fact with all of her being. There, right in front of the entrance, was a bouquet of roses and a note._

_Saito knew where she lived, and he could get there easily._

_That dress you wore was for me, wasn't it?_

_You wanted me to look_

_I'll rip it off you, make you mine_

_No Otonashi to get you off the hook_

_~ Saito_

_Kanade called in sick the next day, and the next, and the one after that. She had plenty of sick days saved up from a decade of flawless attendance, so that was no problem, but her boss didn't fall for her act. After a week of being "sick," he called her out on it._

" _Tachibana, what's going on? If you need a vacation, you should use vacation days, not sick days."_

" _It's just a bad headache. I'll be back in a few days."_

_In truth, she feared what would happen if she left her apartment. What if he was there, just waiting for her to leave? A cursory glance through the peephole showed a mountain of flowers and letters, but she couldn't bear to read anymore. The memories were just too strong, and this time Yuzuru wasn't here. There's no telling what would happen if Saito found her. The police wouldn't help, that was for sure. They didn't last time, and they wouldn't now._

_She fiddled with her necklace and listened to his heart, but nothing helped._

_After two weeks, she got a text. Kanade almost didn't check her phone. It was probably from her boss, but she was considering moving cities and working from home. Anything to avoid Saito. She may as well tell him that so he wouldn't keep bothering her and could probably get her set up to work remotely. She picked up her phone, expecting yet another reprimand. What she read was infinitely worse than a boss scolding you for missing work._

_Stop playing hard to get_

_No need to put up a fight_

_I'll break in, take you hard and fast_

_When the clock strikes eight tonight_

_~ Saito_

_It was 7:50 P.M._

_Backed into a corner, Kanade ran out of her apartment, leaving everything behind. She had to get away. Saito could be here at any moment. What if she was running right towards him? She couldn't think like that, she just had to keep running._

_She heard a man calling her name and looked back to see someone she hoped to never see again, yet she couldn't tear her eyes away._

_Fear filled her. She was too late, far too late. Her only hope was to run faster and faster and faster and-_

_Her shoe caught on a split in the sidewalk and she fell, cracking her head open against the street corner._

_Kanade Tachibana died listening to the lullaby of her beloved's heartbeat._


	9. Remember Who You Are

"Oh, Kanade…"

Kanade, _his Kanade_ , had been through so much, and he wasn't there. He couldn't be there for her, couldn't protect her. She must have been so scared, so alone. With a start, Otonashi realized that was how she felt about him in the tunnel. It's like they were both plagued with survivor's guilt, despite being dead.

_What a pair we make._

She had fallen asleep shortly after the story's conclusion, telling him to stay still as he was a comfy pillow. That was fine. He had enough to process, and some peace and quiet would do him good.

Otonashi looked down at Kanade, marveling (not for the first time) at just how _small_ she was. She looked so fragile; here, he had experienced her destructive power first-hand, but in life, she was weak. She could be taken advantage of. He was always the barrier between her and those who would wish her harm. With him out of the picture, Saito was free to… Otonashi didn't want to think about that.

None of that mattered anymore. Kanade was here, in his arms, and he wasn't letting her go anytime soon.

A glint of metal caught his attention, and he gripped the chain of her necklace. Was that what Igarashi found on Otonashi's body? It was pretty, sure, but he wasn't one to give her jewelry. She just wasn't into that kind of stuff. He gripped the chain between two fingers and was about to pull it up to check it out when he heard someone yelling.

"Angel! We need your help!"

Startled, Otonashi looked around wildly and found Yui barreling towards him at speeds he didn't think were possible for someone of her stature. When she noticed them, her expression shifted to show some relief.

"Oh, thank god you're here too, Otonashi! Hinata- I mean, the Battlefront's in danger!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down," said Otonashi. "Start from the beginning. What's going on?"

"We don't have time!" snapped Yui, clearly impatient. "I'll explain on the way, but we need to get to the baseball field, and fast."

Kanade, who had woken up at Yui's outburst, got up and started running without a word, Otonashi and Yui following close behind.

"Explain," said Otonashi.

"It's one of the guys from the student council: the one with the green hat." Either not noticing or not acknowledging Otonashi's blank look, Yui kept going. "We thought he was just an NPC, but then he hypnotized Yuri and shot the rest of us down. He says he's going to obliterate us one by one."

Forcing someone to pass on shouldn't be possible. Kanade told him that you needed to be at peace with yourself, but what if hypnosis could force that feeling onto you? It didn't feel right. Otonashi wasn't sure if that worked or if his optimism was kicking in. All he knew was that he'd be damned if he let anyone die.

* * *

Huh. So, it _did_ rain in the Afterlife, and when it rained, it poured.

It wasn't a pretty sight. Otonashi had been unconscious during missions (usually Noda's fault), so he had no way of telling if this was par for the course, but he highly doubted it.

Yuri wasn't supposed to be lying on the ground staring at nothing, Noda shouldn't be impaled with his own halberd, and…

"Hinata!" yelled both Otonashi and Yui, running to kneel by his side. He looked like he had an explosion inside of his chest, and Otonashi wondered how Hinata could come back from that, even in the Afterlife.

"Now you see what happens when you defy God." Wait, that voice… no, it couldn't be. It was older, much older, but did that really mean anything? "This world is mine, and mine alone."

"That's not true!" shouted Yui, clearly distressed at Hinata's state. "You'd have to be Student Council President to take control of the school and the NPCs."

"Is that so?" the voice asked, a smirk clear from his tone alone. "It just so happens that I took Tachibana's position from her. It happened quite some time ago, and you bastards were too stupid to notice."

" _I'm going to be just like you, Otonashi! I'm going to save people, just like you saved me. I promise."_

"Tachibana has not attended a single class, slept in the same room as a boy, and was out past curfew. She no longer qualifies for her position, and who better to take it than me? I rule this school, so I rule the Afterlife. Bow to me, the God of this world!"

"Is that how you really feel?" asked Otonashi, standing from his position by Hinata's side and turning to the self-proclaimed deity. "What happened to you, Naoi?"

"I am God, and you will… _Otonashi_?"

The rain seemed to still as if the world itself wanted to listen.

"What happened to that kid who wanted to help people? What happened to that promise you made?"

"I-I don't… I'm not…"

"Wait a minute," shouted Yui, "you two know each other?"

"I thought I did," said Otonashi, "but the Naoi I know would never talk like this. The Naoi I know wanted to help people."

"That Naoi is dead!" shouted Naoi. "He died, and God took his place."

"Oh, cut the crap," Otonashi shot back. "Your body died, but your soul is here. Your life, your memories, they were _real_. You were a real person, Naoi, just like all of us. You can't just shed your life, your identity, and become something you're not."

"Who I used to be was worthless." He couldn't be sure with the rain, but Otonashi could have sworn he saw tear tracks run down Naoi's face. "Who I used to be was exactly what my father expected of me: a stupid child unworthy of his brother's legacy. Now, I will show him! I will become more than my father ever was! I will, I… I will be…"

Otonashi couldn't take it anymore. He didn't see Naoi, the man with a God complex. He saw the boy he saved so many years ago, the one with aspirations to be just like him. He saw a boy crying out for help. So, he did what he did in life. He hugged Naoi and said the words that Naoi had never forgotten.

"I like who you are, and you should too. Isn't that what matters?

* * *

_Otonashi may not have graduated med school yet but he was so grateful, especially now, that first aid came easily to him. The brown-haired woman – he didn't ask her name yet – was bleeding from the head in multiple places, but he was more than happy to tear up his shirt to make bandages if it meant preventing blood loss._

" _Otonashi," called Igarashi, "this kid needs help, quickly."_

_Otonashi finished bandaging the woman's temple and rushed over. It didn't look good. The kid had a piece of shrapnel puncturing his stomach. He had to work fast._

" _Tanaka," he called to the woman in charge of rationing out food and water, "Bring me my first two shares of water."_

" _Are you sure, Otonashi?" asked Igarashi. "We only have a few shares each."_

" _I don't care. This kid needs it more than me. When I tell you to, pour a little bit on the wound."_

_The boy looked at him fearfully, and Otonashi's eyes softened. "It's okay. You're going to be just fine. My name is Otonashi, and I'll make it all better."_

_Putting one hand on the kid's stomach and one hand on the flat side of the shrapnel, Otonashi pulled, telling Igarashi to pour water on at key points. It wouldn't do for the wound to get infected, after all. The kid was surprisingly quiet, like he was used to pain. Otonashi tried to focus on the wound instead of that, but it kept popping back in. Just where was this kid from? He couldn't be more than eight-years-old, maybe nine. Why wasn't he screaming, or at least crying?_

_It was lucky Igarashi called Otonashi over when he did because the shrapnel was dangerously close to the kid's liver. Any more movement and it would have punctured it. Finally pulling the metal all the way out and instructing Igarashi to pour the remainder of his water on the wound, Otonashi took the remainder of his shirt and wrapped it around the kid. He sighed in relief. The wound would leave a nasty scar, but the kid would heal._

" _You're going to be okay," he said, smiling at the kid. You know, he probably shouldn't keep calling him 'the kid.' "What's your name?"_

_With all traces of worry gone, the kid looked up at Otonashi with something akin to hero-worship. "I'm Ayato Naoi," he said. "Thank you so much, mister!"_

_Holy shit, he's adorable._

_Looking around, Otonashi noticed that he wasn't needed for the time being. He had patched up those who were critically injured, and most people were okay, just in shock. He could afford a few moments._

" _It's nice to meet you, Naoi. What are you doing on a train all alone?"_

_Naoi looked away, guilty. "I was going to visit my brother."_

_Ah, a brother estranged from the parents, but close to the sibling. A tough situation. "Where is he now?"_

" _He's at Aoyama cemetery."_

_Oh._

_If anything, that raised even more questions, but they didn't matter now. Otonashi gingerly wrapped an arm around Naoi's shoulder, mindful of the wound in his gut. "tell you what. When we get out of this place, I'll take you there myself. You shouldn't be in the middle of a big city like Tokyo without company."_

_Naoi looked up, eyes shining. "Really? You'd take me? I thought I'd have to walk the rest of the way."_

_Otonashi's heart broke a little seeing that face. What parent would leave their son to walk miles, alone, just to visit his brother's grave? "Of course, I'll take you. I just said so, didn't I?"_

_The sheer amount of gratitude on Naoi's earnest face was enough to melt anyone's heart._

* * *

_Naoi's exuberance brought life to the lifeless tunnel; he really was a bright spot in this dark part of their lives. From what Otonashi could glean about Naoi's home life, it seemed even a collapsed tunnel and a train wreckage made him happier than his father did._

_Naoi's father was never a fan of him, always favoring his brother. That struck a bit too close to home for Otonashi's tastes, but that only made him more determined to help Naoi. Apparently, when Naoi's brother died, their father tried to turn Naoi into a replacement, even as he despised his son more each day._

" _It's not fair," muttered Naoi, curled up into Otonashi's side. He shifted uncomfortably, as he was pretty sure his liver was damaged, but said nothing. No need to burden the boy with more than he already had on his plate. "I don't want to be a potter. Pottery is so boring."_

" _Did you tell him that?"_

" _He just said I wasn't capable of doing anything else."_

_That angered Otonashi, but he pushed it down. "Well, what do you want to do?"_

_Naoi shook his head. "Doesn't matter. Father won't let me do anything else."_

" _Forget about your father. If it was just you, and you could do anything in the world, what would you want to do?"_

_Naoi was quiet for a while. Suddenly, Otonashi felt very stupid. What eight-year-old seriously considers what they want to do in life? Naoi would probably just say an astronaut, or a firefighter, or maybe a superhero like Batman._

" _I want to be a doctor."_

" _Huh?" asked Otonashi, surprised._

" _I'm going to be just like you, Otonashi! I'm going to save people, just like you saved me. I promise."_

_Otonashi threw his head back and laughed, wincing at the pain in his side. "Oh, Naoi. Kanade would get a kick out of you."_

" _Kanade?"_

" _My girlfriend. You'd love her. She's nice, but straight to the point. She's been my best friend since we were… why, your age, come to think of it."_

" _She sounds great."_

" _Yeah, she is. Tell you what. Next time you're in town, why doesn't she come with us to visit your brother?"_

" _Really? She would do that?"_

" _Of course. You two would get along great." He knew they would. A bright kid like Naoi and a kind soul like Kanade would love each other. You know, they had talked about having kids someday, who said they couldn't start a couple of years early by adopting an eight-year-old? Not to mention, it would get Naoi out of a crappy home._

_That is, if Kanade survived her operation…_

" _What does she look like?"_

_Otonashi shook his head to clear it. "Here, let me show you." He always carried a few pictures of them in his wallet. The one he chose had the two of them under cherry blossoms at a park in Sumida._

" _She's pretty…" mumbled Naoi. Was he blushing? Adorable. Otonashi was keeping him._

_He decided to show Naoi something._

" _Look at this."_

" _Whoa… is that for Kanade?"_

" _Sure is. I got it for her recently. Think she'll like it?"_

" _Yeah. I think she'll love it."_

* * *

_Almost a week had passed and there was no response from the outside world. Spirits were down and supplies were critically low. Naoi's meager portions weren't supplying enough nutrients to heal his wound, so Otonashi ended up sneaking about half of his portion to Naoi. He needed it more, after all._

" _Hey, Otonashi?" asked Naoi, weakly._

" _Yeah?" whispered Otonashi. He barely had the energy to think, let alone speak._

" _I don't think my father will let me be a doctor."_

" _Why not?" It was a stupid question. He was just so damn thirsty that he couldn't think._

" _He won't like me if I'm not a potter."_

" _I like who you are, and you should, too. Isn't that what matters?"_

_It was quiet for some time, and that was just fine with Otonashi. He wasn't sure he could speak more. When would help come? He really missed Kanade. There was so much to do when he got out of there. Retake any missed exams, apologize like hell to Kanade for missing her surgery, not to mention making sure Naoi didn't have to go back to his father._

" _Otonashi?"_

" _Yeah?"_

" _Thank you."_

_He would love that boy as his own if it was the last thing he did._


	10. Wary Gazes

"Do you remember who you truly are, Naoi?"

"…I do."

"Then fix this."

The rain slowed to a crawl as the world started to pull itself back together. Noda ripped his halberd out of his thigh, Yui dragged Hinata to the infirmary, and most of the members of the Battlefront started to stir. Kanade walked over and slipped her hand in Otonashi's; she was the silent support he'd always needed.

Yuri woke up and shot to her feet in a battle stance. When her eyes caught onto Otonashi, Kanade, and Naoi standing together, she looked torn between screaming and laughing. "First Angel, now Naoi. You have a strange taste in friends, Otonashi."

"Noda."

That one name said enough, and Yuri's face broke into a slight smile. "Point taken. All right, I need to hear this story. How are you going to explain away the actions of someone who attacked our friends out of nowhere and tried to erase me from existence?"

"Oh, I'm not going to. Naoi can do that for me."

"WHAT?" yelled Naoi, clearly feeling betrayed.

"You got yourself into this, buddy. Come catch up with us when we're done. Also," Otonashi narrowed his eyes, "give Kanade her position back."

"I can't do that. I already reported her for breaking all those rules."

"She was taking care of me, so make something up. Don't take away her happiness for your delusions of power."

Naoi looked like he was about to fight back, but there was no way he could say no to Otonashi after everything that had happened. Instead, he just sighed and grumbled about paperwork.

"Don't worry, paperwork is the least of your worries."

"What do you mean? That will take forever."

"Look behind you."

Yuri stood there, hands on her hips and glaring daggers at Naoi. Anyone under her gaze would be paralyzed with fear, and it certainly worked on Naoi, but onlookers could see the mischievousness dancing in her eyes. Yuri really liked playing the villain.

Then again, was it really "playing the villain" if she truly enjoyed being sadistic?

She dragged Naoi away by the ear as he kicked and screamed the whole way. They would get along just fine.

"And you," said Otonashi, turning to Kanade, "Have a lot to answer for."

"I do?" she asked, unaware where this was going.

"Igarashi told you everything that happened in the tunnel."

"Right."

"That included Naoi."

"Right."

"Did you know that the Naoi here was the same as the one from the accident?"

"Yes."

"…"

"…"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You didn't ask."

_Jesus, Kanade. Who would think to ask something like that?_

"Come on," he sighed. "Let's go help out the others."

The Battlefront was in bad shape. They seemed just fine with Otonashi offering help but didn't react so well when Kanade approached. Old habits die hard, it seemed. Fujimaki, who was pinned to the ground by his own sword, pulled it out of his lung and stood up, trying to slice Kanade in two.

The sword's blade was cut off from the hilt before he even started his swing. Without a word, Kanade dispelled Hand Sonic, threw a shell-shocked Fujimaki over her shoulder, and carried him to the infirmary.

* * *

"It seems we're late," said Kanade.

Indeed, they were. The entire Battlefront (sans TK, who was still missing) was crowding the infirmary, and even Yuri and Naoi had arrived. It seems they reached an understanding of sorts if their banter was anything to go by.

"Look, all I'm saying is that this world would be a lot quieter if you just sucked it up and disappeared as a _normal_ person would under my hypnosis."

"Oh, please. Normal people don't go here."

"So, you admit you're not normal?"

"I said no such thing."

"But you just –"

"I'm just saying that I can't disappear because the Moron Brigade would collapse without me, and who knows what kind of trouble they would cause?"

"Trouble? You _lead_ these guys into trouble."

"Yes, but it's _fun_ trouble."

"You're impossible."

"And you need to get the stick out of your ass."

"Why, you little –"

Heh, the two bickered almost as bad as Yui and Hinata.

_Wait a moment._

Was Naoi… blushing? Oh, the poor thing. Of all the girls to have a crush on, it was a demon in a schoolgirl outfit.

_Also, is it just me, or is Naoi really, REALLY bad at flirting?_

The standing members of the Battlefront were running around, stitching up wounds and making sure everyone was relaxed. Sure, they could heal on their own, but a painless recovery was always better than a painful one.

Otonashi decided to help. He was pretty good at this stuff if he did say so himself. He went to Fujimaki, who was unceremoniously tossed onto the bed by Kanade before she backed away. A stab in the lung was no big deal when you're already dead. Otonashi just had to clean the wound so it wouldn't get infected. Next up was Takematsu. If he wasn't such an idiot and kept his shirt on for more than five minutes, maybe the hole in his shoulder wouldn't be filled with mud. After that, Otonashi went to check on Shiina, but she called him stupid and went to stand in the corner.

Finally, Otonashi moved to Hinata. He was already stable because he got immediate attention, so Otonashi didn't have to do anything besides keep him company. Then again, it looked like Yui hadn't left his side. If it weren't for the sorry state of Hinata's chest, Otonashi would have described the situation as cute.

Still, even though everyone heals eventually, it could take days, even weeks of pain before Hinata could move. It looked like a bomb was detonated inside his chest, and that wasn't something he'd read about in his medical textbooks. Well, there was calling time of death, but that didn't quite work in the Afterlife.

There may not be a medical procedure, but there _was_ a certain programmer with nigh-absolute power just a few yards away.

"Hey, Kanade," Otonashi called. She looked out of place, just standing to the side. "Can you come over here? I have to ask you something."

All eyes in the room shot to her as she walked towards him as if to make sure she wouldn't attack them. Maybe calling her over wasn't a great idea. Being lonely to suddenly becoming the center of attention might overwhelm her. He'd have to apologize later. For now, he had a question.

In a low voice, he asked her, "Do you have any skills with healing?"

Shaking her head, she told him, "Only self-healing. I've never had any allies to heal, so there was no need."

Not for the first time, Otonashi cursed her fate. Looking around the room at everyone's wary gazes, he decided that he wouldn't let her live that life anymore.

"Yuri."

"Yeah?"

"Permission to call a meeting?"

"Permission granted."

"Headquarters. All Battlefront members. Tomorrow, 10 A.M."

Apparently, that wasn't a popular decision.

"All of us?"

"I don't want to go to some stupid meeting."

"Woo, no class!"

"You don't go to class anyway, you moron."

"Can't. Band practice."

"This is so stupid."

"Great," said Otonashi, "sounds like we'll have perfect attendance."

"The hell I'm going."

"Hello? I just said we had band practice."

"I'm not going unless there's food."

"I have to do the paperwork to give Tachibana her position back, remember?"

"You're all going," said Otonashi with a glare, "or else."

"Or else what?" snarked Noda from his bed. "You'll kill us?"

"Nope," said Otonashi with a smirk. "Kanade, did you delete that program yet?"

"No," said Kanade. Go figure. "Are you saying you'll let me use it?"

"Hmm," said Otonashi, pretending to think, "only if they don't come. A demonstration would be fine for now. If you would?

"Guard Skill: Electric Saber," she intoned, and a wicked lightning bolt appeared. Before anyone could blink, it was held to Noda's throat.

_I'm not sure if this is hot or scary._

Still, the guy had it coming for interrupting his reunion with Kanade.

"I think I can make it."

"Yeah, band practice could always be rescheduled."

"I'm sure my subordinates could fill out the student council paperwork."

"I could always just eat a big breakfast."

"I'll stop calling you stupid."

And that was that.

* * *

"Kanade?"

"Hmm?"

"Tell me about Naoi."

They were back in her dorm room, and they were tired as hell. Reliving both their deaths and that whole debacle with Naoi made them feel like they ran a marathon.

"What do you want to know about him?"

Well, wasn't that the million-dollar question? What _didn't_ he want to know?

"What was he like?" he asked, a bit wistfully. "I mean when he came here."

Laying her head on his shoulder, Kanade gathered her thoughts. "He was bitter."

That made sense. "What do you think caused it?"

"He wanted to do something in life but couldn't."

"Kanade, that's everyone's story."

"Right."

That wasn't helpful. Still, Otonashi could probably figure it out.

" _Who I used to be was exactly what my father expected of me: a stupid child unworthy of his brother's legacy."_

"I think," mused Otonashi, "that he was never able to form his own identity outside of the one his father forced on him, and he was lashing out. He wanted to carve his own path, and he stupidly decided that the way to do that wasn't by accepting himself, but by ruling others and giving himself a higher status."

Kanade looked up, confused. "Isn't that basically what I said?"

_Kanade, you're cute but utterly hopeless._

"Sure, why not?" he said. "That's probably why he wanted your position. He wanted to be at the top."

"In part," said Kanade. "I believe he wanted to get close to me."

"Really? I know he blushed when he saw your picture, but I didn't think he'd actually pursue you."

"That's not it. He wanted to learn about you."

Ah. That made more sense. "So, what did you tell him?" he asked, curious.

"I told him that you were a good man who gave his heart to save mine."

Otonashi smiled. "I'd give it a million times over if it helped you."

"That's not possible. You no longer have a heart."

"It's the thought that counts. Just accept it."

"Okay." She thought for a moment, then snuggled into his side. Even if it wasn't possible, she seemed to like the idea. Perhaps there was hope for her after all.

"It's crazy how powerful regret is for the people who come here," he idly mused. "Even hearing what you said his lust for power drove him to hate you."

She tilted her head up, eyes widening. "Naoi hates me?"

"No, no, no," he backtracked, panicking a bit, "I just meant he envied your position, that's all!"

"Oh," she said, relaxing, "that's good. I like him. I always thought there was a sweet, bright boy under his mask."

Otonashi relaxed and grinned. That's just who Kanade was. Naoi stripped her of her position and attempted to humiliate her, but she chose to see the potential in him, of the man he could be.

"You know," he said at length, "when I was in the tunnel, I planned to talk to you about adopting Naoi."

It was said that silence was deafening, but Otonashi hadn't truly experienced it until that moment. He didn't even have a heartbeat to pound in his ears. Every nerve ending was on fire and he wanted nothing more than to turn back the clock. Who the hell drops a bombshell like that? The guy just tried to murder half of them, and here Otonashi was talking about adoption. How stupid could a guy get? Kanade was probably going to kick him out any second.

Or she could kiss him.

Kanade was smiling widely like one of her greatest wishes was being fulfilled. She grabbed her necklace protectively, stroking Otonashi's cheek with the other hand. "I would have loved that. A family with you sounds wonderful." Then, her face turned contemplative. "Would that mean we'd have Yuri as a daughter-in-law?"

Otonashi laughed and held her closer. Of course, that's the part she'd focus on. "Glad to know I wasn't the only one who noticed that."


	11. Healing (and Keyboards)

_Klack klack klack klack_

_Midterms were exhausting. Otonashi wasn't sure how much he could handle. They say college students stay up late partying, but Otonashi had done nothing but study for his exams. These concepts were dancing right in front of him, but he just couldn't comprehend them. How was he supposed to remember the gazillion different ways proteins were involved in the creation of the cell membrane? Sure, given enough time he could do it, but they went over it yesterday and the midterm was in three days._

_Klack klack klack klack_

_He glanced at the clock on the wall of the apartment he shared with Kanade. Half-past midnight already? Damn, he had to go to sleep._

" _Kanade?"_

_No answer._

" _Kanade? Are you okay?"_

" _Hmm? Just working on this."_

" _Well, I'm going to bed. Don't stay up too late. You don't want to stress yourself."_

" _Okay."_

_Klack klack klack klack_

_God, he hated her keyboard. Why was it so loud? Kanade insisted the tactile feel of the key switches allowed for greater performance, but that was just stupid. If that were true, she wouldn't have picked the more expensive model that glowed all the colors of the rainbow. She then claimed it increased her satisfaction. Well, all it did was give him a headache, but she wouldn't go back to a normal keyboard. Something about normal keyboards feeling "squishy."_

_Trying to get comfy in bed, he heard voices coming from the other room._

" _A linker error? Strange, not a single header file is out of place… Oh, except that one."_

_Kanade insisted that she needed to "talk through her code" and, naturally, he was the primary victim. However, she often stayed up much later than him, so he bought her a rubber duck to do the job for him._

" _There's a memory leak, and I have 30 files all using the same linked list. Is it this one? No, can't be. This one? Oh, Yuzuru, what do I do?"_

_She still named it after him, of course. First turnips, now rubber ducks. He truly was replaceable by an inanimate object._

" _Missing semicolon on line 31 in file… what? I don't have a file of that name…"_

" _Microsoft error R6031… R for runtime, but what's the other part? Hey, Yuzuru? Can you Google this for me? Oh, right. I'm the one with the computer."_

"… _What's clang?"_

* * *

_Klack klack klack klack_

_2:08 AM, and she was still typing away. That girl worked herself too hard and was going to make herself sick if she didn't get some sleep. Sighing to himself, Otonashi headed to the other room with the intent of bringing her to bed._

_Klack klack klack CRASH_

" _Kanade!"_

_She had collapsed to her hands and knees, skin pallid and sweaty._

" _Are you okay? How can I help?" he asked worriedly._

" _I'm fine," she murmured, trying to shoo him away._

_He wouldn't budge. "Let me know what you need, and I'll get it."_

" _Really, I'm fine," she said weakly. "I just need to trace these pointers. It's one last bug."_

" _That's not true, and you know it," he admonished. "You'll fix this one, and it will create five more."_

" _No, it's just this last one. I promise."_

" _Kanade," he sighed, "you're straining your body too much. You need to sleep. Not to mention, if you keep working without sleep, you'll turn in a bad program."_

" _That's not how it works," she said, a bit grouchily, or as grouchily as Kanade could get. "It's an implementation of a doubly-linked list. It works and does what it's supposed to with the right time complexity, or it doesn't." Otonashi had no clue what any of those words meant, but he got the gist of it._

" _Well, if you don't get enough sleep, you won't be able to get it to work."_

_Kanade didn't respond, then used Otonashi's shoulder to push herself off the ground. Checkmate. He laced his fingers through hers and helped her to bed._

_As he was drifting off, this time without that dreadful keyboard, he heard a quiet, "It's not fair."_

" _What's not fair?" he whispered back._

" _Normal people could stay up this late just fine."_

" _Normal people need sleep, just like you do."_

" _Normal people get tired when they stay up too late, not collapse."_

" _Well, if you pull an all-nighter, or get drunk, or get sick, then normal people-"_

" _I'm not normal, Yuzuru."_

_He paused. "Perhaps, but that's what I love about you."_

_Her eyebrows arched ever-so-slightly. "You love that my heart doesn't work?"_

_It may not have been appropriate for the situation, but Otonashi snickered. Kanade was not amused._

" _Sorry, sorry, I just meant that I love that you're different."_

" _So, you wouldn't love me if my heart was normal?" Goodness, this woman was difficult._

" _No! That's not what I meant. I just meant… you work so hard. This condition makes you a stronger person. You're a survivor, a fighter. You literally collapsed and tried going right back to work. Your sheer willpower is what I love about you. I love how you take the terrible cards life dealt you and turn them into a royal flush."_

_Kanade just stared._

_And stared._

_Blankly._

_Otonashi started to sweat. "Oh god I'm so sorry that last line was so corny and oh god please forget about that."_

_She gave a rare laugh, and holy crap was it adorable. "I guess that's what I love about you."_

_Otonashi frowned. "You love that I have stupid lines?"_

" _No. I love that you turn any situation into a positive one. I love that you always make me feel better. I love how every time I fall, you're always there to lift me back up. I love how genuine and honest you are. I love how concerned you are. I love you because you are who you are."_

_Otonashi stared._

_Kanade stared right back._

" _This isn't fair, you know."_

" _What isn't fair?"_

" _I worked really hard on that last line, and it was terrible, but you pulled that out of nowhere and it was perfect."_

_Kanade grinned proudly. "Well, I'll be doing it every single night, so get used to it."_

" _You know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. Maybe one day, I'll get good at them, too."_

" _You probably won't."_

_He loved that she was honest, but damn did it sting._

_Finally, at three in the morning, he fell asleep._

* * *

_Kanade got up earlier than him like she always did. She tiptoed around the room, making as little sound as possible. Before leaving, she pulled the blankets up so Otonashi wouldn't be cold, kissed his cheek and said she loved him. He always pretended to be asleep during it, worried that is she knew he was awake, she'd stop. He knew it was a bit dishonest, but it just brought such a fuzzy feeling to his heart, and it was one of the parts of their relationship that he loved the most. He couldn't think of a single thing that could ruin this moment._

_Klack klack klack klack_

_Fuck._

* * *

Klack klack klack klack

For a moment there, Otonashi thought he was still dreaming. He cracked an eye open and recognized Kanade's dorm room. Oh, yeah, he was dead. Joy.

Klack klack klack klack

_God, I beg of you, please don't let this be true._

Sitting up on his elbows, Otonashi saw Kanade sitting at her desk, mumbling to herself while typing away on her keyboard.

A glowing, _mechanical_ keyboard.

"Good morning, love," she said, without turning around. How did she even know he was awake?

"Morning," he grumbled. "You just _had_ to recreate that keyboard, didn't you?"

"Of course, I did," she said. "It increases-"

"Performance and satisfaction, yeah, I got it," he muttered. He was _not_ a morning person.

"Then there's no need to ask." And that was that.

He got up and padded over to see her screen. "Angel Player, huh? Giving yourself some cool power?"

"I'm programming the ability to heal."

"I thought you could already heal yourself?"

"It's not for me."

" _I've never had any allies to heal, so there was no need."_

"I'm almost done," she said. "Hinata is gravely injured, and this will help. Before our meeting, we're going to the infirmary."

"We?"

"Of course," she said. "I just got you back. I'm not letting you out of my sight." With that, she stood up, grabbed his hand, and dragged him through the door.

* * *

When Otonashi and Kanade arrived, the infirmary was empty save for two people: Hinata and Yui. Otonashi had made jokes about the two flirting, but he didn't realize they were close enough that Yui wouldn't leave his side. Had she been there all night?

"Hey, Yui," he called.

She looked up, and Otonashi was startled to see tear tracks running down her cheeks. Shit, just how close were they? "Hinata hasn't woken up yet. That bastard Naoi did this, and he's been accepted into the Battlefront like nothing happened while they left Hinata to rot in the infirmary."

What could Otonashi say to that? He cared about Naoi, he really did, but the kid messed up.

"It's not fair," he said, trying to soothe the distraught girl, "but we're here to help." Gently pushing Kanade in front of him, he continued. "Kanade was up most of the night working on a new program. It's not been tested, but it should help heal Hinata."

"You would do that for him?"

Kanade nodded.

"But why?" asked Yui. "All we've done is attack you."

"Because he's my friend," said Kanade without hesitation. "Recovery Skill: Healing Hands."

A white light shone from her palms and she passed it over Hinata. Before their eyes, his wounds closed, although there were still many bruises and scars. Hinata was still asleep, but at least his face looked more peaceful.

"It's not perfect, as it's still just a beta," she said. "It will still take many days for…"

Yui latched onto Kanade, jumping up and down. "Thank you thank you thank you thank you!"

"… the bruises and scars to disappear."

Otonashi stifled a laugh. It was clear Kanade had absolutely no idea what to do in this situation.

"All right, all right, break it up you two," he said, accidentally letting a chuckle slip by. "Let the poor girl breathe, Yui."

"Ah! I'm so sorry," she cried, standing back and covering her mouth in horror. "I was just so excited and WOW you're not actually evil and your powers are so cool! Can you teach me? Please?"

"No," said Kanade.

"What? Why not?" whined Yui. "I'm super strong and capable, even if Hinata says I'm not!"

"I programmed it so that I could give myself powers, but not other people."

"Easy, just tell the program that I could use it, too."

"It doesn't work like that. It's a one-way function." Kanade started talking about hashes and prime numbers and whatever, and Yui looked a bit like Noda whenever someone mentioned math.

"Okay, okay," muttered Yui. "I can't have the powers because I'm not all techy and smart like you are."

"That's not–"

"It's okay, don't worry about it!" she chirped. "As long as I can use the German Suplex on Hinata, I'll be happy."

_She'll be happy, huh?_

How was it that she could be happy, but hadn't moved on? Then again, Otonashi hadn't moved on, either. It seemed there was more to being at peace with yourself than being happy. Perhaps you needed to have nothing to tie you down, and you had to truly want to move on.

That would explain why the Battlefront couldn't move on. They believed that, if they reincarnated, they would become a worm, or a stingray; something without the thoughts and emotions of a human. If Otonashi could prove that they'd reincarnate as a human, would they be at peace?

_Then again, do I even know for sure that I'd become a human?_

It probably was just his optimism speaking, but if his heart could find her once, surely it could do so again.

* * *

"There is no God, Buddha, or Angel."

Otonashi and Kanade walked into the Battlefront's headquarters, each looking a bit weary. Well, no. That wasn't true. Otonashi looked weary. Kanade looked like Kanade.

When they left the infirmary, Hinata still hadn't woken up, but seeing him almost completely recovered had lifted Yui's spirits. She still wouldn't leave Hinata's side, so they promised to bring her something from the cafeteria after their meeting. Yui promptly declared both Otonashi and Kanade to be her best friends, grabbed Kanade in the tightest hug she could possibly manage and kicked them out of the room.

It just dawned on him that Yui skipped out on the meeting. Fangs, devil's tail, and didn't attend important meetings. How did some lesser demon find herself in a place like this?

Heck, how did _Yuri_ get here?

Speaking of the magenta-haired demon, Yuri was in the same position she was in when he'd first entered the room about a month ago, but there was a slight difference. At first, it was just Noda on her left side, holding his halberd and glaring at Otonashi. Now, Naoi was on her right, and he and Noda were glaring at each other. Otonashi feared the implications of this.

Naoi turned away from Noda with a huff, noticeably brightening when he saw Otonashi. "Otonashi! You're here!"

The room fell silent as Naoi ran across the room. It was hard to reconcile this grown-up Naoi with the kid Otonashi took care of in the tunnel. So, Otonashi did what anyone would do with an eight-year-old boy that was obsessed with you. He gave Naoi a noogie. Then, he… what… what was he doing? He had to… ah, yes. He had to bow… bow to the chair… the chair was his master… all hail the mighty recliner…

He was brought back to reality by the smell of ozone. Whipping his head around, he saw Kanade retract her arm, a lightning bolt shrinking away into nothingness. Her narrowed eyes were locked onto Naoi who was doing his best to stare back but, by the look on his face, might have wet himself in fear.

"Young man," Kanade scolded, "you are no longer allowed to use hypnotism for such petty means."

"Young man?" Naoi scoffed. "Who are you, my mother?"

"I could have been if Yuzuru survived the train crash."

The room erupted into a mess of noise as everyone started shouting.

_Goddammit, Kanade._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm starting to wonder if a more accurate title for this fic would be "Goddamnit Kanade."


	12. Humanity

_Otonashi was excited. For as long as he could remember, he walked home from school, but today, his mother said she'd pick him up. She had a day off from work or something like that, and she chose to spend it with her son._

_A day with his mother… when was the last time that happened? It had happened with him and Hatsune when she was still alive, but a day with him alone? He wasn't sure that ever happened._

_That morning, before class, he rushed to tell Kanade the good news. She looked sad for some reason when he told her. He remembered that her mom was on a business trip to Singapore, so she probably just missed her. Maybe she was jealous because she had to walk home today? Her mom was the one that usually picked her up, and she wasn't here._

_So, why did she tear up and hug him? Did she miss her mom that much? Kanade didn't cry very often and Otonashi had no clue what to do when she did, so he just hugged her back and waited it out._

* * *

_The clock in the fifth-grade classroom couldn't move any slower, could it? Otonashi glared at it, demanding it go faster. It didn't._

" _Stupid clock," he grumbled to himself. Kanade giggled beside him, but still looked subdued. Tomorrow was Saturday, so he'd take her to their favorite park and make it all better. He didn't like it when his best friend was sad._

_Finally, FINALLY, the clock struck three o'clock, and he rushed to the pick-up point, Kanade walking at a more sedate pace behind him._

" _Do you see her?" he asked when she stopped beside him. "There's a bunch of cars; I can't see her."_

_Kanade gripped his hand but said nothing._

" _She's just behind that car," he mumbled. "No, maybe that one."_

_He repeated that to himself every few cars until there was none left._

" _Yuzuru…"_

" _She's not coming, is she?"_

_Kanade tugged on his hand and he followed, head spinning. She said she'd be here. Where was she? Did she have work? Did something happen to her?_

_No. She forgot. She didn't care._

_They walked slowly, Otonashi not caring where they were going. He let Kanade lead him, a dull feeling in his heart._

" _Yuzuru."_

" _What do you want?"_

_He flinched at his own tone, but Kanade either didn't notice or didn't care. He went to apologize, but she beat him to it._

" _We're here."_

_They were at her house: it was a nice place, but not huge. It always felt very friendly when he came over. Still, wasn't he scheduled to be there Sunday, not Friday?_

_He turned to her, a question in his eyes._

" _I thought you might want to come over and play for a few hours. My dad can drive you back when he gets home, but it would be nice to have some company."_

_He knew what she was really saying. "I don't want to leave you alone."_

_His mother may not have remembered to pick him up, but at least there was one person who would never forget about him._

_He flashed her a grin. "There's no one else I'd rather spend the afternoon with." Her cheeks turned red and his expression changed to one of worry. "What's wrong? Are you okay? I thought red skin wasn't one of your heart problems. Are you okay?"_

_He felt her forehead and she swatted his hand away, turning around so he couldn't see her face anymore. "Let's go inside," she said._

_Otonashi huffed. He was just trying to help. Girls were so confusing._

* * *

Otonashi understood. He truly did. When you laid it all out, it was kind of crazy.

There was an evil angel on the student council that gets her powers from God and wants to obliterate your soul.

Some amnesiac comes along and suddenly remembers that he was dating the evil angel and that she isn't an evil angel but just a girl who couldn't explain herself.

Another guy from the student council tries to murder them all, then joins the Battlefront.

Now, all that is enough to turn their worldview upside down, but then the former angel announces that, in life, she would have adopted the murderous student council guy.

Yeah. He could understand why everyone was screaming.

"What the heck is going on?"

"His mother? You look the same age!"

"She's 32. Or 16, or maybe about 80-something. It's kind of confusing."

"Please don't kill us!"

"You morons, she's not going to hurt us."

"This is so stupid."

"Was that a real lightning bolt?"

One voice rang above the rest. "Did you say train?"

It was Oyama. Meek, quiet, average Oyama had yelled even louder than the likes of Noda and Fujimaki.

"I don't know what's more surprising," said Yuri, "the fact that Tachibana could have adopted wannabe God, or that Oyama could silence a room."

"This isn't some joke," said Oyama. "It's been years, but I remember now. It's why your name sounds so familiar. You're the guy who saved my mom's life."

Otonashi flushed from all the attention. "You must be confused. Probably wasn't even me. Could have been another train accident."

"No, I'm sure it's you. There's a regional holiday called Otonashi Remembrance Day."

_You've got to be kidding me._

"Oh yeah," said Naoi, who was doing everything he could to avoid looking at Kanade. "There was this woman on the train who looked a bit like you, Oyama. Otonashi was helping her right before me."

_The brown-haired woman with the head wound? Huh, I guess the eyes look the same… maybe the cheekbones, too._

"Hold on, back up a moment," said Oyama. " _You_ were on the train, too?"

"Yeah, I was, and Otonashi saved my life," said Naoi, proudly.

"But… you were never at any of the vigils," said Oyama, confused.

Naoi's face fell. "My father never let me go," he said glumly. "Thought I'd run off, or something like that."

_I mean, you kinda had a habit of doing that._

"Wait, Naoi… Ayato Naoi! The people at the vigils kept talking about how Otonashi took this little kid under his wing. My mom called you 'an adorable ray of sunshine,' or something like that."

"Excuse me?" asked Naoi, offended. "I am not adorable, I am God! I am fearsome, I am powerful, I am–"

"Wait, what vigils?" interrupted Otonashi, head spinning.

"You saved the lives of fifteen people," said Oyama. "It's only natural that you'd be honored. Igarashi usually organized it."

"Igarashi, huh? How's he doing?"

"It's been decades since I've seen him, but last I remember he was doing great," Oyama replied. "He said he named his kid after you."

If that wasn't crazy, Otonashi didn't know what was. Still, it was good to hear Igarashi was doing well. The only other thing Otonashi had known of his fate was that he talked to Kanade.

_Wait a fucking moment._

"Kanade."

"Yes?"

"Did you know of this?"

"Of course."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You never asked."

_Kanade, I love you dearly, but holy fucking shit._

Oyama's eyes widened. "Wait a minute. Tachibana, you were Otonashi's girlfriend, right?"

"I am, yes."

"We sent an invitation to you every year, even though Igarashi said you wouldn't come. He said he met you, and that you weren't the type for large gatherings and would grieve in your own way."

"He's perceptive."

As the four continued chatting, the rest of the Battlefront lost interest and hung out around the room. Otonashi was still stunned. There was a holiday in his honor. Igarashi named his kid 'Yuzuru.' Now, that was just silly. Otonashi did what anyone with medical knowledge would do. Isn't that why there's the whole, "Move, I'm a doctor!" thing that happened in movies? It was his responsibility to do the right thing. He swore an oath to do no harm, and letting people die would most certainly violate that oath. Well, okay, he wouldn't have taken that oath for a few more years, but the point remained.

A pink-haired girl, Iwasawa, if he remembered correctly, approached them. "So, Angel…"

"Tachibana," she interrupted.

"Sorry, Tachibana. You really are just a human, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"Tell you what?" Kanade asked, confused.

Iwasawa rolled her eyes. "That you were a human."

"I did."

"Oh yeah? When?"

"I said that I was not an Angel. You just didn't listen."

"Huh, I guess you're right," admitted Iwasawa, scratching the back of her head.

There was a bit of awkward silence as Iwasawa stared warily at Kanade's expressionless face, and Otonashi was preparing to step in. It turned out that he didn't need to.

"I like your music," said Kanade. "I've never seen someone keep their rhythm so well while playing an instrument and singing at the same time."

"Heh, thanks. It's not a big deal, honestly. It just takes a lot of practice."

It seemed Kanade's little piano hobby allowed for some common ground between the two, and they fell into an easy conversation. It made Otonashi smile. Kanade looked like a normal girl, making conversation with her friends.

"So."

Otonashi jumped. Last time he heard that word paired with that voice, he received a tongue lashing. He turned to find Yuri with a smile on her face. Except… it wasn't a malicious smile, or a sad one, or anything like that. She seemed almost okay with the situation. Otonashi liked that look on her. Maybe next time, her smile would be a little wider.

"Hey, Yuri," said Otonashi. "What's up?"

"I know why you called this meeting."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Yuri just flashed him a knowing grin and walked away, presumably to tell off Noda for starting a fight with Takematsu.

"Wait, Yuri," Otonashi called. She turned around and looked at him inquisitively. "There's something I can't figure out, but Kanade wouldn't give me a straight answer. When you first got here, you and Kanade fought, but it was before she had guard skills, so you didn't think she was an Angel. Why did you attack her?"

Her face contorted like she was remembering something particularly painful. "Let's just say we put that behind us and leave it at that."

"What?" he asked, confused. "When was that? I've been with Kanade this whole time."

"You were too busy being hit by lightning bolts," she said.

"Ah." Not much to say after that. Yuri must have thought so too, as she turned away. She cursed, and ran towards Noda and Takematsu, seemingly preparing herself to yell at them. Noda had his halberd at Takematsu's throat, shouting about "his lady's honor."

_Morons._

You know, it didn't surprise him that Yuri knew why he called the meeting. It wasn't exactly tough to figure out, but most of the Battlefront didn't like to think, so they'd have no clue.

The concept was simple. He wanted an excuse to get Kanade in the same room as the Battlefront to show that she was harmless if unprovoked. She was like them, even if she was a bit quieter.

Okay, a lot quieter, and she didn't really explain her actions, but there was nothing inherently wrong with that. However, when you have a bunch of teenagers hell-bent on revenge against God, a simple miscommunication was enough to throw everything into disarray.

Speaking of disarray…

"Kiss you~"

TK was back.

"Where were you?"

"You were gone for so long!"

"What kind of dance takes a week?"

"This is so stupid."

"Moron, at least tell us you'd be leaving!"

TK didn't seem to care. He just flipped on his head and said, "Gotta enjoy a long life of love~"

_Hold up a minute._

"TK," said Otonashi, "What do you mean by that?"

Falling flat and doing the worm, he said, "Dancing through life, man~"

"Are you saying you were alive?" The room fell quiet as people registered what Otonashi said.

Shooting up and pointing at Otonashi with one arm while his other did some sort of wave, TK grinned and said, "Gotta get that human experience, bro~"

"Whenever you disappear, does the same thing happen?"

"Grooving every single time~"

By now, the entire room was staring at the two. Otonashi didn't know whether to laugh or cry in relief. There was no doubt about it now.

"Hey, morons," said Yuri. "What the heck are you talking about?"

Otonashi was so excited that he was shaking. "Can't you see?" he said ecstatically. "This is amazing! TK just showed us the truth."

"What truth? Stop speaking in riddles and spit it out!"

"Don't you guys get it? When we move on, we don't become sea stars, or termites, or some other stupid creature. We're reincarnated as humans!"

The air stilled.

When writing, an author might say that the tension in the air was so thick, it could be sliced like a hot knife through butter. Otonashi wasn't sure that reality could ever be that dramatic, but he saw how it could be described as such. The air was tense, sure, and he was suddenly feeling a lot more awkward at the attention thrust upon him, but the euphoria could not be cut down. At least, that's what he thought until Noda's halberd slashed through the air and tried to cleave him in two. The halberd was met with Kanade's Hand Sonic, of course, but Noda barely seemed to notice as he dodged her ethereal blade to attempt to liberate Otonashi's head from the rest of his body.

"You bastard!" he screeched. "Heresy! Sedition! You're trying to dismantle the Battlefront!"

"Whoa there," said Otonashi, backing up with a placating gesture. "Where did you learn all those big words?" Okay, maybe he wasn't trying _that_ hard to be placating, but he was sure tired of the guy's penchant for ruining moments. He was more than happy to let Kanade teach the guy a lesson with her blade.

"Shut up! You represent everything we stand against. You're trying to obliterate us and turn us into a stupid insect. I bet you're trying to overthrow Yurippe!"

"I'm doing nothing of the sort," Otonashi shot back. Was it even worth reasoning with this ax-happy asshole?

"Liar! For that, I'll chop off your –"

"Enough!" shouted Yuri. Perfect timing, too. He had made a wild swing and was about to run straight into Hand Sonic. This whole meeting might have been pointless if Kanade stabbed someone, even if it was Noda.

"But, Yurippe! This bastard said –"

"I know what Otonashi said," she shot back icily. "He might be right."

Otonashi expected the room to explode in outrage, or at least in surprised whispers, but none of that happened. He supposed that potentially upending their worldview in the most literal sense was tough to respond to.

Seeing that nobody was about to speak, Yuri elaborated. "I've had some suspicions in the past, but they were merely some lingering doubts. It wasn't until recently that I learned the truth: you cannot be obliterated outside of your own free will. Tachibana, she…" Yuri paused as if debating how much to say. "Tachibana had once asked someone to stay, but they moved on anyway. This isn't Heaven or Hell. It's not just a school. It's Purgatory. It's a place to get over our regrets and find fulfillment. It's merely a resting place before our next life.

"TK," she called, grabbing his attention.

"Sup~"

"When you reincarnate, do you have any memories of the afterlife or your past lives?"

"Only a few can truly feel the flow and see your soul~"

"I'll take that to mean that in only a couple of your lives, you had your memories. Am I right?"

"Hell yeah, bro~"

Yuri nodded, "Now, are you the same person every time you reincarnate, or someone different?"

"My path and moves are a different groove, but my heart always dances the same~"

Looking around at the bewildered faces of the Battlefront, Yuri frowned and walked towards the door. "I will leave you morons to your thoughts."

"Wait."

It was Iwasawa. She, like many others in the Battlefront, looked conflicted, but it appeared she was the only one able to knock herself out of her stupor. "Are you telling us that after all this, after all this fighting and anger and revenge, we're just supposed to move on? We're supposed to just accept our fates?"

"Of course not!" cried Yuri, offended. "I'm not telling anyone to move on or to forgive whatever higher being gave us our fates. I'm just saying that for some of you, moving on might not be so bad.

"However," she warned, "if anyone does decide to move on, and I mean _anyone_ , you better say goodbye or you're getting the mother of all punishments."

With that, she was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to believe that, in this fic, TK's regret is that there wasn't any music that he could truly groove to or whatever. Girls Dead Monster satisfies this regret because Iwasawa is amazing, causing him to move on, and there's no GirlDeMo in real life, so he's unfulfilled, creating an endless cycle of unfulfilled groove and epic dancing. Notice that he disappeared after GirlDeMo performed Operation: Tornado. He's a simple man with a simple desire.


	13. A Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Truly and deeply, thank you for giving my life to me."

Otonashi and Kanade left the meeting feeling content with how it ended. The true nature of the world was laid bare to all. Sure, the Afterlife being Purgatory debunked both of Otonashi's theories that it was Heaven or Hell, but that was fine. There were worse things than being wrong.

Despite now being aware of their purpose here, Otonashi was pretty sure most of the Battlefront would stay. He couldn't begrudge them of that. In fact, he almost considered the same. Would he willingly give up all his memories? Sure, there's a chance he would remember some stuff, but past experiences taught him not to rely on that.

Otonashi arrived with amnesia, and even with Kanade's help, he still had some key memories missing. He couldn't imagine giving up all that progress, all the bonds he'd formed, just to start a new life. He had an identity here. He had Kanade. Would he risk it all for another chance at life?

One look at their clasped hands told him that yes, he would. He could barely feel it, but his pulse was there. Their destinies, their very souls were as tightly linked as their fingers were now.

Come to think of it, he didn't remember when he grabbed her hand. It was just a habit formed when they were kids. She'd reach for his hand, and he'd stand a bit in front of her as if to shield her from the world. Kanade shied away from contact with most people beyond a simple handshake, but Otonashi's touch seemed to calm her.

In a world where Kanade had the powers of an angel, she felt most safe in Otonashi's arms. It was almost bizarre, but he didn't complain. He liked playing the protector, even if she was the one who just saved his life from an ax-wielding maniac.

Otonashi and Kanade may have been feeling fine, but the Battlefront they left behind was a bit of a mess. Iwasawa and Hisako gripped each other like a lifeline, Shiina dropped her derogatory expression, and Naoi looked absolutely lost. He'd reach out to Naoi later, but it seemed that everyone needed some time to process what Yuri said.

Right now, Otonashi and Kanade had a promise to fulfill, though Otonashi thought it was more of an errand. He told Yui he'd bring her some lunch after the meeting, and it was already half-past two. That girl was utterly unpredictable and Otonashi had no clue whether she'd be understanding or want to rip his face off. Hinata's condition didn't help matters, though Kanade's healing power helped him a ton. Come to think of it, wasn't Otonashi supposed to be the doctor? Sure, there's nothing wrong with letting your girlfriend outshine you, but Kanade literally programmed herself a medical degree. That just wasn't fair.

Then again, he healed her with his heart. That was enough for him.

To their pleasant surprise, they found Hinata awake upon entering the infirmary. Yui was as hyper as ever, but she seemed more comfortable with herself. If the way the two were looking at each other was any indication, well, let's just say that Otonashi was happy for the two. If anyone deserved eternal happiness in the Afterlife, it would have to be Yui and Hinata.

* * *

It was a very happy Otonashi that approached the Battlefront headquarters the next day. Kanade was particularly pleased and could be heard humming something upbeat as she walked towards her turnip garden. After promising her that she could show him her "friends" later, Otonashi headed out.

Things were going just fine.

"Hey, Yuri," he called out as he entered headquarters. She was behind her desk for once, instead of on top of it. The room was empty except for her and Naoi who stood at her right. A shadow covered his eyes. "Where is everyone? Normally, it's only silent when I give some grand revelation," he joked, trying to dispel the tension in the room.

No one responded. "Come on, guys. I was just kidding. What's going on? You all right?"

"They're all gone."

It was Yuri. He'd never seen someone look so despondent. What could have happened? She was always so strong; so tough.

"Gone?" he asked. "Well, where are they? We've gotta catch up."

"You idiot! They moved on, every one of them. They're gone forever."

_What?_

But things were going so well. People were happy, they discovered they could move on peacefully and…

Ah, so that was it.

She clenched her fists. "I want to blame you and Tachibana. I want to be furious at you. I really, _really_ do. If you didn't come here and meddle, they would still be here."

"Yuri…"

"Let me finish. They're all gone. My family has been obliterated, and it's because you gave them a choice. You taught them that there was more to their existence than just fighting and revenge. You taught them that they could be at peace.

"They chose _you_ , Otonashi. Not me. The second I let them decide, they said goodbye. One by one, they came, smiles on their faces, and disappeared. Some barely said a word. They just left. Noda, my stalwart protector, is gone. Yui, who never failed to make me smile, is gone. _Hinata_ , my best friend, my partner since time immemorial, is _gone_.

"Are you going to disappear too, Otonashi? Are you going to up and leave now that my family is gone? Or will you stay and watch me fall even further?"

All was silent while Yuri stared at Otonashi's dumbfounded face. After a half a minute, she huffed. "You can speak now, moron."

He sighed, rubbing his neck.

"Yuri," he paused, "I don't think you understand. They didn't leave because they chose me, or to get away from you or anything like that. That's not how it works. They moved on because they felt fulfilled. You gave them that. They only stayed as long as they did because they feared what would happen if they moved on.

"You were like a cool big sister to them, you know? To all of us." He smiled. "You helped me and Kanade out too. In life, we only had each other. We had no other friends, but you came and gave us a family. I have a little bit keeping me here, but if not for that, Kanade and I would be long gone, and it's all thanks to you.

"Don't you see? They left because of you, not despite you."

Yuri was silent before a sad smile crossed her face. "You mean… _they_ left because I helped them move on, not because they didn't want to be with me?"

Huh? Wasn't that what he just said? It didn't matter. "You're their family. You gave them peace."

Naoi stepped up, adding in his two cents. "Every single person came up to you today and thanked you. It hurts saying goodbye, I know it does, but when you love someone, you let them go. That's what you did today. You let every one of them go, knowing what was best for them. All you need to do now is accept that their gratitude was genuine."

Yuri snorted. "Wise words from the guy who called himself God."

"Don't mock me! You should be treating me with more respect. I had you in the palm of my hand, I could have destroyed you, I –"

"In our next life, grow some balls and ask me out, all right?"

Naoi spluttered, his face as red as a tomato. "That's not, what, why would you, why would I, what? I mean, yes, whatever. Wait, no! Yes? Damn it, woman!"

Yuri laughed with a smile on her face. Not a sad one or a grim one, or a mildly content one. A real, full, genuine smile. The smile she never gave in life. She turned to Otonashi and flashed that same blinding smile.

"Thank you."

And she was gone.

Otonashi turned to Naoi, who was staring at the spot Yuri just occupied while half-heartedly mumbling about "vixens" and "wenches" and "demons." Otonashi ignored his mutterings and asked him if he was ready, too.

Shaking himself out of his stupor, Naoi said, "Not quite. I want to apologize to Tachibana for how I've treated her these past years. And, well, I guess for not giving back her student council position, but she can just take it back when I go."

Looking away, he asked, "Were you actually planning on adopting me?"

Otonashi nodded. "I viewed you as a son, and I knew Kanade would have as well. Not to mention I wasn't about to let you go back to your asshole of a father."

"Huh," said Naoi, thoughtfully. "I think I would have liked that." He smirked. "Call me old fashioned, but it might have looked strange to others if you had a kid _before_ you proposed."

_Wait, what?_

At Otonashi's surprised face, Naoi scoffed. "Oh, come on. You're not that much of an idiot, are you? You showed me the ring in the tunnel."

" _Look at this."_

" _Whoa… is that for Kanade?"_

" _Sure is. I got it for her recently. Think she'll like it?"_

" _Yeah. I think she'll love it."_

"I… I had forgotten…"

"You _forgot_ you were going to _propose_?" asked Naoi incredulously. "You really are a member of the Moron Brigade." He rolled his eyes. "Weren't you and Tachibana in your twenties, or something like that? Even if you forgot, it's not exactly tough to figure out you'd get hitched. I bet even Noda saw it coming."

Naoi walked out leaving a stunned Otonashi behind. "Oh, one more thing?"

"Y-yeah?"

"Thank you. For everything. For the record, I would have loved to have you as my father." With that, Naoi walked out the door and didn't look back.

* * *

" _Hey. Sorry, it's been so long since my last visit. I haven't been in town for… well, a few years, huh?"_

_Otonashi sat down, trying to get comfortable. "I'd like to say that a lot happened, but honestly, it feels like a lot stayed the same. Kanade's still my best friend and the love of my life, mom and dad haven't called, med school is tough as hell, and mapo tofu hasn't gotten any less spicy." He chuckled. "That's not why I'm here, of course. I wouldn't take the train all the way out here just to state the obvious."_

_Otonashi's expression fell, and his hands clenched into fists. "Kanade's heart got worse. She's getting an operation that's highly experimental; the World Health Organization has been giving her doctor the stink eye for even recommending it, but we don't have a choice. Still, it's a 20% mortality rate. That's about what you had, huh?_

" _Kanade's strong, sure, but you don't need to be a statistician to know that 1 in 5 isn't good odds for a surgery. It's really… well, it's put things into perspective, and I've been appreciating her a lot more. Not the big stuff, like her core personality traits. Those are easy to recognize. It's the little things, you know? It's the way her eyes shine when she's making some sappy speech, the way she tucks her hair behind her ear in the wind, heck, even her love of cuddling. The girl can barely shake someone's hand, but she snuggles up to me like I'm a teddy bear."_

_A fond smile graced his face. "Remember when I said your smile lights up a room? Well, it seems you have some competition. Nothing makes me happier than when Kanade is happy._

" _Do you know what she told me? She said she wants a life with me. A family of our own. A wonderful, smart, caring, and beautiful woman with such a gentle, kind soul wants to spend her life with me. Me! Can you believe that? And you know what? I want to spend the rest of my existence with her, too._

" _That's why I'm not waiting a moment longer. As soon as she gets out of the hospital, I'm giving her this." He pulled out a box from his pocket and stared at it with a mix of excitement and anxiety. "I know she said she wanted a family with me, but what if she meant years in the future? Maybe when we're 40 or something." He shook his head. "Nah, I'm just being silly. Kanade doesn't talk in hypotheticals like that. I'm pretty sure it was code for 'Why haven't you proposed yet?'"_

_He pocketed the box and reached out to brush the stone in front of him, "I have to go. I'll visit soon, but next time, it will be with my fiancé in tow. Goodbye, Hatsune. I love you."_

_Otonashi walked away from his sister's grave, not looking back. He had a train to catch._

* * *

Otonashi was running, but he had no idea where he was supposed to go. He cursed himself for the umpteenth time. Why didn't he ask Kanade where the turnip garden was? What if there wasn't a turnip garden, but just some wild vegetation in the middle of nowhere that she helped cultivate? She could be anywhere in this damned school.

He took to asking the NPCs, but they had no idea what he was talking about. Crap. It really was just some wild vegetation. That was just like Kanade, wasn't it? He sprinted towards the grounds, intent on searching every inch. An annoying little voice that sounded suspiciously like Yuri said that he could just wait until the evening when she got back to his dorm, but he ignored it.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a tiny sign that said, "Gardening Club." Bingo. He sprinted towards the shed, slammed the button to open it, and ran inside. Light shone through the doorway as if he was entering Heaven itself. If his angel was indeed in there, then perhaps he was. Forcing himself to slow down, he entered the greenhouse where he found Kanade staring intently at Naoi. They were saying something, but he was too far away to hear. He walked closer, curious as to what he was saying. An apology, question, maybe an expression of gratitude? Whatever it was, it was making Kanade smile.

Just as he got within earshot, Naoi vanished. Go figure. As soon as Otonashi entered Heaven, God's Kingdom, the self-proclaimed "God" disappeared.

Kanade turned to him. "Yuzuru, you came. I was beginning to wonder if you'd find this place."

He chuckled weakly, out of breath. "I almost didn't, actually. I was headed towards the forest. It was dumb luck that I stumbled across this place."

"There's no such thing as luck when it comes to us finding each other. Merely fate." She looked so serious when she said it that he couldn't help but believe her.

"You may be right. Now, I believe you have something to show me?"

Her face lit up ever so slightly. "I do. Come here." Guiding him by the hand to the first row of turnips, she pointed to each in turn. "This one was the oldest of a group of four, but the rest died. Instead of dying with them, it grew stronger. So strong, it now provides nutrients to the surrounding plants."

_Yuri._

"This one started to bloom just a bit after the first one. See the way the leaves fan out? It's like it's encouraging the other plants to grow."

_Hinata._

"This one isn't particularly strong or large, but see the dirt around it? It's spreading roots in its own, unique way like it's confident and wants the world to know it."

_Yui._

"This one started small but quickly grew. It became almost parasitic, but instead of plucking it, I waited. I knew it had potential, and I was right. It stopped leaching and started acting somewhat like the first one I showed you."

_Naoi._

"This one is lonely. It's small and too far away to provide any substantial benefit to the surrounding plants, and in turn, they cannot help it. However, recently, it started moving closer to the other turnips, and it started to grow."

_Kanade._

She walked him over to another row and stopped in front of what, to Otonashi, seemed like any other turnip. To Kanade, it had greater significance. "This one is my favorite."

"Yeah? Why's that?"

"Look." She pointed to the side of it.

Otonashi squinted. There was a slight depression in it. "What's that dent?" he asked.

Kanade looked at it fondly. "I don't know how it happened, but it gave up part of itself. Look at this one." She pointed to the turnip next to it. "It was small and frail. It was clear that it was going to die. However, my favorite turnip gave up part of itself to extend the life of the weaker one." She turned to him, eyes shining. "It truly is wonderful. I named it Yuzuru."

They stood in silence, content with each other. Who knew that turnips could create a romantic setting? Then again, this was Kanade. Anything was possible.

"Hey," he began, getting her attention. "Come with me. There's somewhere I want to go."

* * *

"This was where we reunited."

"Right."

The twin waterfalls were beautiful, especially in the light of the dying sun.

"To think that it's only been a month or so."

"36 days."

"Again, a month or so."

He hadn't been able to notice it the last time they were there, but the sunset did wonders to Kanade's eyes. The reds and oranges clashed with the gold in such a way that she may as well have been a spirit of fire. The light reflecting off the water surrounded her; it almost looked like she had a halo.

In a sense, the Battlefront was right: Kanade was an angel. They just took it too literally.

"Kanade."

"Yes, love?"

"You said we had the same regret."

"Right."

"However, it's more like two sides of the same coin. I need to say something, and you need to hear me say that thing. Am I correct?"

"Why ask if you already know the answer?"

Otonashi chuckled nervously. "Perhaps I'm just looking for reassurance." He turned to her and grabbed both of her hands, dragging her attention away from the sunset.

_Which knee is it? Does it matter? Would she even notice? Okay, I chose left. Damn, I think that's the wrong one. No going back now. Just say the words. Shit, I didn't practice my speech. I don't even have a speech! What do you say to someone who knows you're about to propose?_

It didn't matter. This was Kanade. This was his best friend and the love of his life. The speech was there for show. She knew exactly what was in his heart, for he gave it to her ages ago.

"Kanade, I've known you my whole life. We've been there for each other every step of the way. You gave me your love, your friendship, your trust, and your home. I've given you my love, my care, my protection, and my heart. We've given each other our very souls. Now, I want to give you my name. Kanade, will you marry me?"

All was silent save for the rushing water and his heart pounding in her chest.

"Are you, uh, going to say something?" His speech must have sucked.

She smiled, mischievousness dancing in her eyes. "You're supposed to give me an engagement ring."

Otonashi laughed in relief. "I had a nice one if I do say so myself. Unfortunately, I kind of died before I could give it to you."

"That's okay. I already have it."

"Sorry, what?"

Kanade untucked her necklace. Dangling from it was a ring.

"What… how…"

"When I was in the hospital, Igarashi gave me this. He found it on your body. I never allowed myself to put it on because you never proposed. When I died, it appeared with me. That's how I knew I'd see you again." She smiled brilliantly, the setting sun illuminating her features. "Tell me what you said again so I can wear it properly."

Otonashi stood up and took the ring off her necklace. "If I do this, we'll disappear, won't we?"

"Yes."

His doubts from before crept back. There was no guarantee, scratch that, almost no chance they'd meet again. Here, they were already together. They could stay here forever. They could help other lost souls, together for all eternity. Could he really give that up?

"We'll meet again, Yuzuru."

_That girl's a mind reader._

"I always viewed you as the realist to my hopeless optimism."

"Are you saying I'm not being realistic?"

Otonashi sighed. "It's not that. I just don't want to lose you."

"You won't lose me. We'll find each other again."

"I mean, it's a one in six billion chance, and that's not even factoring in time periods."

"That doesn't apply to us."

Otonashi bit back a sarcastic remark, instead choosing to ask, "Why do you say that?"

Kanade closed her eyes and placed her hands over her heart. "Can't you see? The gift you gave me tied us together. We met in life, and we met in death. Our next life will be no different."

"That's only two meetings. One's a chance, two's a coincidence."

She reached up and pecked his lips. "Then our third time will make it a pattern."

Perhaps she was right. Otonashi knew that, if nothing else, he'd at least remember that his heart belonged to an angel.

"You truly think we'll meet again?"

"I know we will."

"Then promise me something. Promise you'll remember me."

"Of course, love. I could never forget you."

_Not even amnesia could erase you from my memories. I won't let reincarnation take you away either._

"We'll meet and become best friends," she continued, "just like before."

"Only if I get to be the one to ask you out this time."

"Then don't wait so long."

Otonashi laughed. "I think I can manage that." He pulled Kanade in close, stroking her hair. "This time, we'll have a family."

"I would like that."

They held each other in the dying sunlight, neither willing to let go. Was this it? Was this goodbye? Dammit, his eyes were _not_ watering.

"I'm ready, Yuzuru."

"I'm not," he said, holding back a sniffle.

_Don't start crying, Otonashi. You're supposed to be the tough one._

"I understand," she said, voice shaking almost imperceptibly. "I don't want to let go, but we'll have our entire lives to hold each other."

That was true, but it would be quite some time before he would be allowed to hold her in such an intimate manner, let alone kiss her. He'd be a kid. Would he even love her as he did now? Of course, he wouldn't. Children weren't capable of romantic love aside from a small crush.

Still, that made it exciting, didn't it? He'd be able to fall in love with her all over again. A new first date, new first kiss, new everything.

A new life with the woman he loved.

_I'm ready, Kanade._

A traitorous tear slipped out, but that was okay. Kanade was crying, too. This time, however, he wasn't ten. He knew what to do when she cried.

He kissed her softly and slipped the ring on her finger. "Kanade, will you marry me?"

"Yes, Yuzuru. I want nothing more than to spend our whole life together."

The sun dipped beyond the horizon with brilliant rays of yellow and orange. but no one was there to see it.

* * *

" _One day, I will prove to you without a shadow of a doubt that you matter. I will prove that you need protection, too. I will prove that I will always be there for you, in this life and the next. I will- mmph!"_

_Otonashi had no idea how long they kissed for. All he knew was that his mind was racing with thoughts in the general direction of, 'Holy shit, I'm dreaming."_

_They broke apart, faces flushed, and breathing labored._

" _Kanade."_

" _Yeah?"_

" _I love you."_

_Silence._

_Did he just say that? There's no WAY he just said that. It was their first date, he kissed her while she was in the middle of talking, and now he said he loved her. He was probably coming on way too strong, wasn't he? God, he was such a creep. Now she'll want nothing to do with him and–_

" _I love you too."_

_The world is amazing, God is real, and he is great. How does a happy dance sound? Wait, she's leaning in for another kiss. That's MUCH better than a happy dance._

_Things continued in the same vein until it was dark. They'd been dancing around each other for so long; it was only natural they would need an outlet._

" _Hey, Kanade?" he breathed against her lips._

" _Yes, love?"_

" _When we get older, I'm going to marry you."_

" _I would want nothing more, Yuzuru."_

" _Let's be together forever, okay?"_

" _Yes. Thank you for loving me."_

" _I love you so much, Kanade."_

" _I love you too. Truly and deeply, thank you for giving me a life worth living."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to my fiancé: my best friend and the love of my life. She is and always will be my angel.
> 
> Thanks to Jun Maeda and Key for creating a true work of art.
> 
> Yuzuru means 'to bind strings' and Kanade means 'to play music.' Yuzuru bound his heartstrings to Kanade, and she was able to play out her life. With that in mind…
> 
> Alexa, play "Kanade."


End file.
